


You can bring a horse to water

by SkilledWarriorKiwi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Awkward Seduction, Beforus and Alternian differences, Biting, Break Up, Dancestors - Freeform, Dream Bubbles, Equius is a meddlesome moirail, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hermaphroditic Trolls, Illustrated, Mentions of fefeta sprite, Moirails, Nepeta and Equius being dorks with each other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, People doing stupid shit in relationships, Rough Sex, Scent Marking, Tentabulges, Though it's more along the lines of "Oh God My Eyes", Why do I keep on choosing the most awkward characters to write, matesprits, pesterlogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:05:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1520186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkilledWarriorKiwi/pseuds/SkilledWarriorKiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another meme prompt; http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/39716.html?thread=45065508#cmt45065508 </p>
<p>"Nepeta and Equius are discussing romantic entanglements and somehow it gets to who Equius finds acceptable for a matesprit for Nepeta. Of course the only type of person he would find acceptable for his dear moirail is for someone of a common hue of his own or higher, and, well, not many of the options are all that attractive to him.</p>
<p>Except Horuss.</p>
<p>Nepeta finds this outrageous and fights with Equius for a bit before she's willing to give him a chance.</p>
<p>Horuss is still a bit off since his break up with Rufioh but is willing to give it a shot.</p>
<p>Nepeta is the rogue of heart and steals his heart and she ends up liking him a whole lot more than she expected."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]  
  
CT: D--> Nepeta  
CT: D--> I must speak with you  
AC: :33 *the furrocious huntress prowls from the shrubberies to greet her meowrail!*  
AC: :33 *she rubs up against his legs and paws offering an ear!*  
CT: D--> This is serious  
CT: D--> Do not think it has escaped my notice what you have been doing  
AC: :33 *ac rolls her eyes and thinks her meowrail n33ds to relax and have fun!*  
AC: :33 *she washes her face with a delicate paw*  
CT: D--> You have updated your wall again  
AC: :33 *the huntress rolls her eyes again this time so hard they nearly pop out like squ33k beasts*  
CT: D--> Stop it. This is a serious discussion about your shipping wall and the disturbing trends upon it  
AC: :33 boo!   
AC: :33 *ac knows her meowrail secretly longs to furrolic through the wilds!*  
CT: D--> I do not  
AC: :33 grrr!  
AC: :33 fine! youre such a grump >:((   
AC: D--> I am not  
AC: :33 yes you are!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 yes!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 yes!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 YES!!!  
CT: D--> Stop   
AC: :33 blarrrrrgh fine!  
CT: D--> As I said before I saw your wall  
CT: D--> And I have herd things about your current shipping aspirations  
AC: :33 so??  
CT: D-->You have placed yourself upon the wall with questionable potential matesprits  
CT: D-->The most vulgar being Vantas  
CT: D--> It is udderly unacceptable  
CT: D--> Vantas is completely be100 you. He has no favourable traits for you to waste your time on, his e%cessive rage he directs towards everyone and disdainful attitude is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it  
CT: D--> And that is still nothing compared with  
CT: D--> his b100d  
AC: :33 his blood isnt a purroblem!  
AC: :33 stop being so stuffy  
AC: :33 besides i dont like him like that anymore i just havent updated my wall  
CT: D--> Well   
CT: D-->That is  
CT: D--> That is good I suppose  
AC: :33 anyway ive put a lot more up there!  
AC: :33 have to ship all the ships! ALL OF THEM!!  
CT: D--> Stop it  
AC: :33 hisssss!  
CT: D--> Now cease this f00lish behavior. This a serious discussion upon the worthiness of your intended matesprits  
CT: D--> One notable issue is b100d they carry within their veins  
CT: D--> Though you are of low b100d you are still my moriail and I will not tolerate you settling for anyone less than you are worthy of  
AC: :33 i dont have a purrference!  
AC: :33 their blood doesnt matter fur me!  
AC: :33 as long as they are nice and i pity them i dont care what blood they are  
CT: D--> Even so I will not have you sullying yourself with the lower caste  
AC: :33 who cares about blood status anymore??   
AC: :33 most of us are dead anyway :00  
CT: D--> We may be deceased yet we are still living  
CT: D--> To an e%tent  
CT: D--> And just because we are deceased does not mean we abandon all sense of decorum  
AC: :33 ugh so?  
AC: :33 only you care about blood status anyway!  
AC: :33 even meenah doesnt care  
CT: D--> Her Majesty's attitude is clearly a by product of the dream bubbles and for being dead for millions of sweeps with only lesser b100d for company  
AC: :33 being dead-not-really for that long must be weird :OO  
AC: :33 but you always go on about blood and rank but no one cares!!  
AC: :33 and neither do i!  
AC: :33 ill woo who ever i want >:((  
CT: D--> You will not  
AC: :33 i will!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 yes!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 yes!  
CT: D--> No and that is final  
AC: :33 ugh! why are you always like this??  
CT: D--> Because you are always insisting on pursing unworthy matespits  
CT: D--> As your moirail it settles to me to declare who is appropriate and who isn't for you  
CT: D--> You deserve the best and that is that  
AC: :33 equius...  
CT: D--> It is true and that is why I must intervene  
AC: :33 stop being so sw33t and stuck up at the same time!  
AC: :33 besides most of my purrings are just mewsings  
CT: D--> You do want a matesprit though, you have spoken of it numerous times  
AC: :33 well yeah...  
AC: :33 but you wont like anyone that i do! youll just go on and on about their blood  
AC: :33 and you already do that :||  
CT: D--> Their b100d is a defining characteristic   
AC: :33 it is not! i dont want a matespirt based purrly on their blood  
CT: D--> Even so, I insist upon it  
AC: :33 hisssss!!   
AC: :33 anyway everyone who has higher blood i dont want as matesprits  
AC: :33 even the really dead ones  
CT: D--> That is not true  
AC: :33 yes it is!  
AC: :33 im not going anywhere near a makara i dont care what you say  
CT: D--> Yes, despite their b100d I wouldn't recommend them  
AC: :33 ampurras  
AC: :33 HISSSSS >:((  
AC: :33 that just leaves meenah and fefuri that are okay fur you but i dont want them as matesprits ://  
AC: :33 i purrty sure meenah pities someone else!  
AC: :33 and being flush fur fefuri would be weird beclaws we used to kinda be one troll sprite thingie :OO  
CT: D--> Well  
CT: D--> Upon further refle%tion there does seem to be a  
CT: D--> limitation  
CT: D--> Upon potential matesprits for you  
AC: :33 meowby i should try one of the humans ;DD  
CT: D--> I  
CT: D--> How dare you suggest such a vulgar thing  
CT: D--> I will not tolerate such a horrendous act of %enophilla being committed by my meowrail  
CT: D--> Moirail I mean  
AC: :33 i was joking!  
AC: :33 *ac twitches her tail wondering when her meowrails sense of humour became so dried up*  
CT: D--> This is no braying matter  
CT: D--> Already some of the remnants of our race have succumbed to such 100d behaviour  
AC: :33 i think its purrecious! kanaya is so cute with rose :))  
AC: :33 though the aliens are one of the reasons im not flush for karkitty anymore  
CT: D--> What  
AC: :33 um im purrty sure hes  
AC: :33 ummmmm  
CT: D--> That is just  
AC: :33 vulgar nasty lewd bleeeeeergh XPO  
CT: D--> I do not sound like that  
AC: :33 yes you do!!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 yes!  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 yes!!!  
CT: D--> Stop attempting to dehoof the issue  
AC: :33 im not!  
AC: :33 but what people do fur their quadrants is their business!  
AC: :33 they dont need purrmission to find matesprits and neither do i!!  
CT: D--> That is because none of them have moirails  
CT: D--> Which is why they are making all these 100d decisions and getting involved in %enophillic behaviour  
AC: :33 i think its purrty cute!  
CT: D--> It is not and I will not tolerate you involving yourself with one of the aliens  
AC: :33 i dont like any of them like that so stop fussing!  
AC: :33 and most of my purrings are just tests and mewsing!  
AC: :33 you wouldnt approve of any of them regardless!! you just complaining on about their blood as if anyone cares  
CT: D--> Well that can  
CT: D--> I mean  
CT: D--> You still want a matesprit though, don't you  
AC: :33 yeah :((  
CT: D--> Then you shall get one  
AC: :33 you cant just declare it like that  
CT: D--> Yes I can. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a matesprit  
AC: :33 hehehe aww  
CT: D--> It is true  
AC: :33 *ac nuzzles her meowrail in gratitude*   
AC: :33 well okay then! maybe porrim!   
AC: :33 shes purrty and i think shes single!!  
AC: :33 also shes a jade blood so you cant complain all over the place about that   
CT: D--> She is, admittedly, a potential candidate for you  
CT: D--> She is intelligent, understanding and has an appropriate b100d colour  
AC: :33 buuuuuuut???  
CT: D--> One of my mane issues is her frivolous attitude toward quadrant commitment  
CT: D--> I do not want you to be paired with a matesprit who views you as nothing but a trial, an e%periment   
AC: :33 yeah that did kinda come up in my talks with meulin  
AC: :33 but just beclaws she has a variance in quadrant pawtners all the time doesnt mean shell be a bad matesprit!  
CT: D--> Even so I do not want you to become involved with someone who will leave you if they have even faint interest in another potential matesprit  
CT: D--> You deserve someone who will be loyal and steadfast with you  
AC: :33 but she  
CT: D--> No  
AC: :33 oh come on!!  
CT: D--> No and that is the end of it  
AC: :33 hissssss!!! >:((  
CT: D--> Stop it  
AC: :33 no! you keep on shooting down my suggestions!!  
CT: D--> That is because they are terrible suggestions  
AC: :33 ugh! well fine! buts theres no one else!  
AC: :33 meowby we should just accept im not going to get a matesprit and stop bringing it up :((  
CT: D--> That is not true, Nepeta  
AC: :33 yes it is  
CT: D--> No it is not. You would be a purrfect matesprit from someone. We simply have to find them  
AC: :33 but im just a  
CT: D--> No, you are not  
AC: :33 ♦  
CT: D--> ♦  
AC: :33 okay but you must admit i dont have a lot of choice   
AC: :33 even less with ones you approve of  
AC: :33 i updated my wall  
AC: :33 i mean the one in my cave not the wall one  
AC: :33 and there arent many choices without matesprits that we havent already said!  
AC: :33 meenah likes someone else and fefuri is too much of a friend for me  
AC: :33 ampurras i dont want them anywhere near me theyre creepy  
AC: :33 i am not going near a makara again!  
AC: :33 vwriskas i dont like >:(( and aranea is interested in somone else  
AC: :33 terezi is upset and latula is spoken fur!  
AC: :33 kanaya is matesprits with rose and porrim you dont like >:||  
AC: :33 meulin is like a louder me so that would just be strange  
AC: :33 mituna is with latula and solicks has the thing with aradia!  
AC: :33 tafuros and rufioh are kinda cute but tafuros is taken and rufioh has just broken his flushed quadrant  
AC: :33 aradia is with solicks and damara is cr33py and scary :OO  
AC: :33 karkitty already has a matesprit and kankri is obnoxious  
AC: :33 and thats the list  
AC: :33 everyone is involved with other people or you dont like them >:((  
CT: D--> Indeed, the situation does look grim but we can  
CT: D--> Wait  
CT: D--> You mentioned that winged mutant brown b100d  
AC: :33 ugh you mean rufioh??   
AC: :33 you can say his name ://  
CT: D--> You mentioned that he has broken his flushed quadrant  
AC: :33 yeah??  
AC: :33 im not going to bother him so you dont need to lecture me about him  
CT: D--> No  
CT: D--> That isn't what I was going to say  
AC: :33 so what then? i dont really think hes a good option since hes got the whole crazy ex matesprit problem  
CT: D--> Not him. He is both a mutant and a low b100d and therefore not worthy of you  
CT: D--> No, I was going to mention  
AC: :33 wait i think i know where youre going!!  
CT: D--> Then you know who would be the perfect match for you  
AC: :33 ugggh! you cant be serious???  
CT: D--> Of course I am  
CT: D--> Horuss is  
AC: :33 i dont want another sweaty weirdo in my life!   
CT: D--> Why not? He is the perfect candidate for you. If I had known of his separation from the mutant lowb100d I would have recommended him earlier to you  
AC: :33 equius you cant be serious!!  
CT: D--> But he is an ideal matesprit for you; he is intelligent, well learned, partakes in the noble echelon of archery, has great knowledge of mechanics and poetry  
CT: D--> Also he has a dedicated appreciation for the fine arts of musclebeasts  
CT: D--> And as a final bonus he has noble b100 b100d coursing through his veins  
AC: :33 ugh so another version of you  
CT: D--> Neigh, he is even more worthy of his b100d due to his extensive knowledge and practices  
AC: :33 i dont care! hes even more weird than you are!  
AC: :33 also he just got a broken heart :((  
AC: :33 and you shouldnt try and move on people who have just broken their quadrants!  
CT: D--> Even so, he is of a STRONG disposition and thus shall recuperate quickly  
CT: D--> Therefore you should approach  
AC: :33 no! i dont care!  
AC: :33 i dont think horuss will just furget his broken heart if i go up to him and start trying to get him flush fur me!!  
AC: :33 its basic decency equius!! >:((  
CT: D--> He is not some weak low b100d  
AC: :33 grrrrr!  
CT: D--> You would be wise to approach him soon before someone else gains him as a matesprit  
AC: :33 who would want him anyway??  
AC: :33 hes a sweaty cr33p!!!  
CT: D--> Nepeta  
AC: :33 well he is  
CT: D--> It is obvious you are too nervous to approach him on your own  
CT: D--> As such, I shall do my duty as a moirail and ask him directly to gauge his interest in perusing a new matesprit  
AC: :33 are you kitten me?!  
CT: D--> Do not fret, I shall not be long  
CT: D--> ♦  
  


centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]  
  
AC: :33 equius!!!!  
AC: :33 blllllrrraaaawwwwgggghhhhh!!!!! >:((  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC] has logged off


	2. Chapter 2

Hissing, Nepeta pushed herself away from her husktop. She stood and began to pace around her cave, lips wrinkled, tail twitching as she thought over the previous conversation with her moirail.

She was torn between anger, embarrassment and...flattery? She knew it was ridiculous but she couldn't help feel a little bit flattered at the lengths Equius was willing to go to help her procure a matesprit. Still, she was annoyed that Equius was completely disregarding her opinion about Horuss and went ahead with his plan to interrogate the other Sagittarius over his Flush Quadrant.

Horuss.

He was like a bigger, sweatier version of Equius. Well alright, the sweaty thing didn't really bother her so much. She was fairly used to it due to being moirails with Equius for so long and body odor never bothered her. Living in a cave her whole life and hunting dangerous alternian wildlife for food with her lusus meant she was used to a lot of blood and guts and sweat and smell, despite her teasing of Equius. Horuss though...She had only met him a few times in the Dream Bubbles but his constant smiling was creepy. Admittedly she did like his extensive use of hoofbeast puns (Equius was so difficult to rope into role play and puns) and his interesting outfit but other than that...

With a huff Nepeta dropped onto one of the many pelts littering her cave floor, still fuming. Pounce padded over to her, settling against her side and purring. Nepeta stroked her lusus head, the familiar feel of her thick fur comforting the troll's roiling emotions. She wasn't sure if Pounce was real or just another manifestation of her memories but she didn't care at the moment. Real, sprite or dream, Pounce de Leon always knew how to cheer her up.

Nepeta rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling of her cave as Pounce curled around her. It was larger than her original home on Alternia, with the entrance scattered with little cubes that led to her game land LOLCAT and several tea pots sprouted from the walls of her cave. Half of the floor was smooth steel like the environment of her room on the meteor. It was strange; it was if the Dream Bubble has mashed all of her original lairs together to create some hybrid. Well, she didn't really mind. It was oddly comforting.

Still, the guilt kept on niggling at her, gnawing at her comfort. She knew that getting a broken heart wasn't an easy thing to get over despite Equius's claims to the contrary. Especially when the relationship lasted for thousands of sweeps, as it had for Horuss and Rufioh. The Leo didn't want to end up as some sort of rebound matesprit for Horuss. As strange as he was she didn't want to play with his feelings or hurt him again. If there was on thing she learned from shipping was that it is very easy to get things wrong and trolls getting their blood pushers broken. She saw it all too clearly between her moirail and Aradia, the broken diamond between Kanaya and Vriska, the murderous end to Eridan and Feferi, the odd stunted courtship of Karkat and Terezi that collapsed completely.

Many dismissed her shipping wall as some kind of wigglerish past time but to Nepeta it was imperative. Originally it was for the sake of her friend's lives; trolls without Flush or Pitch quadrants were killed by the drones when the time came and when they lived on the meteor she carried on with her wall due to wanting to make her friends happier. Instead that didn't work out well due to all but four of the trolls ending up dead after a while but the introduction of the Dream Bubbles proved to be even more fortuitous for her shipping.

That's also where she met Meulin. Admittedly she got a bit tired of the other Leo's company after a few hours since all the constant yelling hurt her sensitive ears and Kurloz hovering around all the time was disturbing but it was nice to speak to another troll who shared her enthusiasm with shipping. Meulin instantly understood her fascination with shipping and quadrants despite her odd Beforus mannerisms.

Speaking of which, that was one of the things that made the Dancestors so... _strange._ Not creepy strange (well, some were) but that fact they were all so _soft._ In all manner of the word. Meulin had no muscle mass at all; she was soft and curved with zero hunting experience, with blunted claws and utterly open body language whereas Nepeta was corded muscle, lean profile and subtle paranoia due to a life of hunting and being hunted. Even Meenah, one of the most violent of the bunch, was still far less battle-worn and experienced than Nepeta's friends. Meenah had no issue invading personal space, something that would get claws in the face from a typical Alternian troll. The Heiress had never been forced to murder neighbours over food, to back stab other trolls to protect her own. Instead they all grew up in a universe where 'cull' meant 'adopted and cared for'.

Even usual things such as high blood temper didn't seem to affect the Dancestors at all. Nepeta knew first hand about high blood fury, due to being Moirails with Equius for so long and their subsequent deaths at the hands of a crazed Gamzee. She knew a simple broken glass could make them fly into a homicidal rage. With the high blood Dancestors this never happened. They seemed so calm, so trusting. Well, Meenah was an exception, it was almost as if Feferi and Meenah had been swapped from different sessions. But the rest? They were just...odd. Unnerving even, in their calmness and lack of blood rage. Despite her friendliness, Nepeta wasn't so trusting with random strangers; she certainly would never have dared to burst into someones respite block while they were sleeping like she had seen Latula do to Mituna- she would have ended up getting attacked by a territorial troll spurred by sleep rage. Even with Equius she would have remained at a safe distance, taking care not to spook him.

Admittedly though all of these traits made the Dancestors fairly pitiful, something she wasn't complaining about. 

But still... _Horuss_? Ugh, she wouldn't have been so against the idea if he hadn't just broken his heart. And his creepiness. Well okay, she was kinda used to creepy sweaty trolls due to her diamond with Equius. And yes, she never thought she would have him as a moirail, to have such a strong pale bond with him but that didn't mean she wanted to shove _another_ sweaty weirdo into her quadrants.

She stroked Pounce's head, scratching lightly at her lusus's scalp with her claws as she mused aloud, "Meowby I should give him a chance? But what if I do and he gets flush fur me but I don't get flushed fur him?"

Pounce purred lowly, the feline nudging Nepeta's hand as she continued, "I don't want to hurt him though. Even if he is creepy and weird. Ugh, I just don't know."

Nepeta got to her feet and began to pace, rubbing at her temples as she carried on ranting to her lusus, "But you know how Equius is! He's always butting in and complaining about everything! And now he's trying to set me up with his Dancestor, just beclaws he's got blue blood! I mean, who cares!?" 

She throws up her hands, exasperated. She had no idea how Equius could continue ranting on about blood colour. Alternia was dead, the empire was dead, _they_ were dead; no one cared anymore but those two. Seems like that was another thing the two Sagittarius had in common; being blood snobs. 

Nepeta paced back and forwards a few more times before she stopped in front of her shipping wall, studying the numerous ships adorning it. On this wall each ship was as detailed and coloured as the pairings on her wall during her time on the meteor. She had it split, though; canon relationships were carefully inscribed upon the steel portion of the wall. As always her moirailigance with Equius was front and center on this part. Drawn on the rocky surfaces of her cave were where the potential ships were written. She stopped drawing them in blood after the, admittedly hilarious, reaction Equius had when he came over to visit one time and he discovered how she had originally painted her wall. Hmpf, for a highblood he was fairly sensitive to violence. Well, it just made her pale for him even more.

A soft rustling sounded through the cave as Pounce padded up next to her; the lusus pawed at the potential wall of the ships before looking over at her charge. Nepeta glanced away from the feline's knowing stare.

"I know, meowby I'm just against Horuss so much beclaws I never really considered him as a matesprit. But...ugh, he's purrbably just like Equius! I don't want to put him in my flush quadrant if he's just like my meowrail. It would be weird."

The lusus yowled at that, her tail twitching.

"No! I'm not giving up right away!"

Pounce settled back on her haunches, fixing her charge with a haughty stare. Nepeta gnawed on her lip, shoulders hunched under her guardian's gaze.

"Well, I'm not!" Nepeta groused before beginning to pace again, namely to get away from her guardian's stare, "Stop looking at mew like that. It's just, he's so like Equius! And creepy! And he smells! Okay, that last part I don't really mind but I don't want to try-"

Nepeta barely finished her sentence before Pounce sprang up, landing lightly on the troll's back and knocking her over. She clamped her jaws along the scruff of the Leo's neck, carrying her like a kitten towards the pile of pelts heaped in one corner. The lusus gently deposited her charge amongst the pelts before curling up next to her again. This time though, Nepeta knew she wouldn't be able to escape a good talking. Pounce nudged her horns lightly with a paw as a gentle encouragement.

Nepeta gave in, releasing a gust of breath before muttering, "Look, you don't have to corner mew like this. I just...you have to admit, it'd be strange. And there are other matesprits I could go fur instead. Equius wouldn't approve but he isn't my lusus. You are."

Said lusus purred lowly, her dual mouths opening slightly. She stretched with languorous ease before giving her charge another prompting poke with a paw.

"Alright, I know. I already made a list and there isn't any really left. Well, I do like Porrim. She's so nice and purrty! But noooo, my meowrail had to throw a snit over that as well!" Nepeta mimed something violent in the air with her hands, teeth bared before continuing, "I mean, I know _why_ he's being all over protective and going 'NO NEPETA YOU NO TAKE HER MATESPRIT SINCE I WORRIED ABOUT QUADRANT AND YUCK VULGAR BLERGH' but it's still annoying. It's like he thinks I'm a wiggler."

The troll shifted in agitation, her tail twitching against Pounce's. She lifted a hand towards the ceiling, unsheathing the long battle claws from her glove. She studied the blue claws for a long moment before flicking them back into their sheath. Yes, she was anything but a wiggler. Nepeta wasn't stupid, though. She was aware many people dismissed her as slow and wigglerish. Hardly; just because she was enthusiastic and friendly didn't mean she couldn't run down a 18 foot tall moobeast and haul it's body back to her cave to be made into pelts and paint for her wall. 

Nepeta sighed again, "He's like a lusus some times. Nag nag nag. He's so smothering. If anything, _I_ should be worried and smothering _him_. He makes terrible decisions! And who is he to lecture me about quadrants?! At least he had a damn matesprit even if she was dead and a robot! I don't even have... I mean, no one wants me anyway-"

A paw thudding against the side her head stopped her mid tirade. Nepeta blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the sudden prickle of tears. Pounce was right; wallowing in self-pity wasn't going to help and neither was moaning to Equius about it- said moirail who was trying, in his own clumsy way, to help her fill that quadrant. It wasn't his fault he was doing in the most socially awkward manner possible. Not to mention ripping open some fresh wounds on his Dancestor in order to try and make her happy. 

Slowly Nepeta sat up, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palms. No matter what Pounce thought, Nepeta didn't think this whole debacle was going to end well. The easiest way she could see it ending was her meeting with Horuss, they talk, find out there is no spark, and depart. Worse case scenario, maybe he falls for her but she doesn't? She doesn't want to hurt him. She wasn't emotionally cruel and abusive like Vriska.

Aloud, she said, "I know, Pounce. I'm not useless, I'm not weak or undesirable," She slumped, "It's just hard not to think that sometimes, what since so many others have matesprits. But you know who Equius is going all mad for! And it's just because of his blood! I don't want him as a matesprit, he's weird and creepy and I won't do it-"

Pounce leveled her a stern glare, growling lowly. Immediately Nepeta stopped complaining, feeling abashed. Her lusus was right; real huntresses don't whine and squirm at prospective mates. Instead they study and hunt, determine if they were worthy and if they were they would sink their claws and fangs into them and claim them as their own.

"I don't think that last part would work," Nepeta admitted with a helpless shrug, "He's from Beforus, they're odd and soft there. Meowby he would be into that, but I'd have to ask him first." She flicked her tail, tapping her claws together as she continued, "Well that does mean he's already pitiful but he's purrbably still hurt from his broken heart. Equius can be so rude! Nagging him about such personal stuff!" 

Her lusus started to wash the troll's hair with her tongues, just like she'd always do after a hunt and her charge would be covered in blood and sweat. Nepeta relaxed under the calming, familiar ministrations of Pounce. 

The sound of foot steps stirred her from her doze, her nose twitching. Nepeta instantly recognized the smell of sweat, oil and metal. With a fluid motion she climbed to her feet even as Pounce shifted to make room. With an unconscious flex of her legs Nepeta launched herself at her moirail just as he entered her cave. Before he could speak she bowled him over, sending little cubes flying in all directions as they skidded backwards on the ground with a crash in LOLCAT.

Eagerly she peppered Equius's face with numerous tiny, pale kisses as she purred contentedly. Then she remember she was supposed to be angry with him. Instantly she stopped purring and jumped off of him, trying to scowl and failing miserably as her moirail got to his feet.

"Nepeta-" Equius began only for her to hiss at him and storm back into her cave. She flopped down onto her pelt pile, glaring at Equius as he carefully entered her cave, his brow furrowed. Next to her, Pounce gave a yawn.

Equius's expression grew even more severe but Nepeta just glared right back. She wasn't going to be graceful with this issue, not by a long shot.

"Nepeta, cease this foolish behaviour," Equius said, finally breaking the silent stare off, "There is nothing to be gained with your angry attitude."

"Well I am angry, so you're going to have to deal with it."

"Enough. Despite your temper, I have brought fortuitous news. He has agreed-"

"For Gl'bgolyb's sake! You seriously went and asked him about this?! He's just gotten out of a relationship! One that lasted for thousands of sweeps!"

"He was completely composed when I spoke with him-"

"You mean the constant smiling? He does that anyway. And you're supposed to wait if someone just broke up! Like, a sweep or something! Not move right in on them. Ugh!"

"Regardless, he has graciously agreed to give you a chance."

"Oh yeah? I should just happily go and get flush with a bigger sweatier version of you? Why, because of his stupid blue blood? I don't give a damn about that hemospectrum garbage!"

"Language!"

" _Hisssss!_ "

Nepeta glared at her moriail who just looked back at her impassively. She knew from the sweating he was nervous, though. Still, she was tempted to refuse but she caught Pounce's gaze from where the lusus was still reclining on the pelts. Her guardian gave her a stern look. Huntresses do not turn tail and run.

Nepeta threw up her hands, exasperated, "Grrrrr, fine! If it'll stop you two from nagging at me then I'll go on a date with Horuss! Just don't expect me to be happy about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter I kinda wanted to explain the headcanons I have for the differences between Alternia and Beforus. Including how I think they are different in terms of physical and mental. After all, I doubt the trolls would have had a peaceful society in Beforus (even if it was condescending to lowbloods) if all the highbloods still had their base rage and psychosis issues. I figured Scratch was a douche and deliberately made them like that. 
> 
> Also, due to not being a warmongering genocidal empire meant they didn't get killed/attacked and learned to fight with the same imperative the Alternian trolls went through.
> 
> Oh and I didn't stick Nepeta's cat puns into her thoughts cause it was just too exhausting :/ she still speaks them, though. She drops them when she is talking about serious shit, like when she starts ranting to Pounce, but afterwards she picks them back up. When she's talking about a broken heart she's literally meaning the Flush heart symbol; a blood pusher is still a troll heart/organ.
> 
> Also I like the 'odd silent conversations' between troll and their lusus.
> 
> I was going to make the argument between Equius and Nepeta longer but it would have just gone;
> 
> "Yes"  
> "No"  
> "Yes"  
> "No"  
> "Yes"  
> "No"  
>  _*Angry cat noises*_  
>  _*Angry horse noises*_


	3. Chapter 3

Nepeta didn't take her defeat gracefully; she remained snarky and standoffish towards her moirail for the remainder of his visit. Oh, she knew he was trying to help even if he was being an insensitive dork about it. Still didn't mean she was going to frolic off and merrily get into quadrant with Horuss just because she had Equius's blessing.

Instead she eventually booted Equius out of her cave, assuring him repeatedly she would come over to his hive for a feelings jam after her 'date' with Horuss was finished. No, she didn't want him to come along, _No,_ she does not want etiquette lessons, go back to your hive, she'll visit right afterwards. 

It took quite a few more assurances before her fretting moirail left her, leaving her alone to prepare for her date. 

A date with Horuss.

Thinking it just made it seem even weirder. Right, well, she never backed down from a challenge, be it roleplay or attacking homicidal clowns. If she could deal with that, she could deal with a date with a long dead Sagittarius who was a borderline mirror of her moirail.

Alright, alright. Complaining was already established as not helpful. She agreed and she shall go through with it.

...Even if she had no idea what one did on a date.

Nepeta seized her hair in sudden panic, eyes going wide. _Crap crap crap!_ What _was_ she supposed to do on a date? Maybe she could take him hunting with her? No wait, apparently he had the same bizarre no-meat diet her moirail had. Traumatizing him really wouldn't help. Nepeta began to pace frantically, still tugging at her hair. Well alright, what about showing him around the meteor she lived on? No, no, the humans were in there and last thing she wanted was for Horuss to go on a xenophobic tirade. Going to a dream version of Alternian wouldn't help either- he was from Beforus and not used to the violence of Alternia and getting mauled by giant animals would scare him off. Mentally cursing she paced more violently, hissing angrily to herself-

A sharp yowl from Pounce stopped Nepeta's internal freak out. The lusus was sitting upright on the pelts, her expression stern as she studied her stressed charge.

Nepeta huffed, slumping down next to her lusus and muttering angrily, "I know! Panicking won't help but I don't know what to do! I've nefur been on a date befur. What if I screw everything up? What if we get killed? Well, okay that last one isn't so bad, since we'll...erm, reform after some time but it'll really kill the mood."

Pounce unsheathed her claws and gave her charge a frank look.

"He...I don't think he eats meat. Don't look at mew like that! I know it's weird. But that's why I can't take him hunting...ugh. Well, how about- no, that'll just upset him as well..."

The two discussed the issue for several more minutes but to Nepeta's distress it seems neither of them were any closer to figuring out what to do on a date. Well, there was only one person she knew that loved romance more than she did. Time to bring out the big guns.

She ejected her tablet husktop from her sylladex and shuffled around so she was leaning up again Pounce's warm side. She squirmed a bit to get comfortable before opening trollian. As she did so, Pounce curled around her and started to purr deeply. Nepeta rubbed her lusus's nose before sending off a message.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
  
AC: :33 *the huntress slinks from the bushes eying her target!*   
AC: :33 *she wiggles her rear end contemplating when to pounce!*  
CG: KARKAT STARES AIMLESSLY AT THE WIGGLING BUSHES LIKE SOME THINKPAN FIRED MORON.  
CG: KARKAT HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE IS EVEN FUCKING DOING.  
AC: :33 even equius is a better rper than you! :OO   
CG: I AM GROSSLY OFFENDED THAT YOU ARE COMPARING MY SUPERIOR FANTASY PLAYING SKILLS TO THAT CREEPY SCUMBAG.  
AC: :33 dont you talk about him like that!! >:((  
CG: WOW, OKAY. SOMETHINGS WRONG IF YOU'RE THIS RILED UP OVER MY USUAL ASSHOLE BULLSHIT.  
AC: :33 *ac nuzzles karkittys legs in apology*  
AC: :33 *shes just so stressed out her fur is almost coming out!*  
CG: WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? IS THAT CREEPY FISHFACE FUCKING AROUND WITH YOU AGAIN? I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THE UNIVERSE DECIDED TO BLESS US WITH THE GIFT THAT IS AN EVEN MORE FUCKED UP CREEP VERSION OF ERIDAN BUT THERE YOU GO.  
AC: :33 no its not an ampurra  
AC: :33 *the huntress grows and would tear off their fins if they tried getting furrisky with her!*  
CG: I'M THINK THAT SWEATY DOUC  
CG: I MEAN, EQUIUS WOULD BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH WITH THAT.  
AC: :33 purrobably XDD  
AC: :33 hes way too over purrtective and smothering! its sometimes like having another lusus  
AC: :33 not that pounce isnt the most purrfect lusus there is!  
CG: I'M FAIRLY SURE YOU'RE NOT BOTHERING ME SOLELY TO GO ON HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR DEAD GUARDIAN IS.  
CG: SO WHATS WRONG? YOU BETTER NOT BE TROLLING ME TO TELL ME THAT LORD FUCKING ENGLISH IS IN YOUR CAVE YIFFING WITH YOU OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME WHEN NOT FROLICKING WITH YOUR SWEATY MOIRIAL.  
AC: :33 no! though meowby i wouldnt mind that ;DD  
CG: ON A LIST OF 'THINGS KARKAT REALLY DOESN'T FUCKING NEED TO KNOW' THAT MENTAL IMAGE IS RIGHT IN THE TOP FIFTEEN.  
AC: :33 *the huntress stretches, digging her claws into the ground befurr curling up on her pelts*  
AC: :33 but really, i need some advice!  
CG: WHAT ABOUT?  
AC: :33 romance of claws!   
CG: YOU ACTUALLY FOUND SOMEONE?  
CG: SHIT, I MEAN, NOT TO SOUND LIKE SUCH A SURPRISED DOUCHEBAG OR ANYTHING. JUST IGNORE THAT VOMIT THAT PAST ME JUST SPOUTED OUT.  
AC: :33 its alright   
AC: :33 i know this is sudden!  
CG: FINE, OKAY. YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR SIGHTS- LIKE ACTUAL ROMANCE, WITH ACTUAL TALKING, NOT THAT DAFT SHIPPING WALL FANFICTION CRAP THAT YOU DO WITH THE BIGGER, CONSTANTLY SCREAMING VERSION OF YOURSELF?  
AC: :33 hisssssss!! >:((   
AC: :33 fur your information yes i do!  
AC: :33 which is why i wanted to talk with you   
CG: ALRIGHT, GREAT. THAT'S GOOD. WHO IS IT, ANYWAY? SINCE WE'VE CROSS LORD FUCKING ENGLISH OFF THE LIST THAT ONLY LEAVES A FEW DOZEN NON-DEAD PEOPLE LEFT  
CG: OR KINDA DEAD.  
CG: FUCK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW. DEAD-BUT-NOT REALLY OR THE ALIVE ONES WHO JUST FUCK UP ANYWAY.  
AC: :33 trouble in purradise? :OO  
CG: OH NO YOU FUCKING DON'T. THIS IS YOUR ROMANTIC ENDEAVORS WE ARE EXAMINING THE SHIT OUT OF, NOT MINE.  
AC: :33 boo!  
CG: BOO YOURSELF.  
AC: :33 anyway i wanted to ask you if you have any ideas what to do on a date???  
AC: :33 i went through a list and i would purrobably just scare them!!  
CG: WAIT, SCARE THEM? I'M GUESSING IT'S ONE OF THE HUMANS THEN AND ONLY ONE HAS A FREE QUADRANT AS FAR AS I KNOW. WELL, THEY ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT AS FAR AS THEIR STUPID ROMANCE GOES SO IT'S EVEN MORE LIMITED WITH THEM.  
AC: :33 its not one of them!  
CG: WHO IS IT THEN? AFTER THE HUMANS THERE ISN'T A  
CG: WAIT, IT'S ONE OF THE FUCKING DANCESTORS ISN'T IT?  
CG: I SWEAR TO FUCK, IF YOU ARE GOING TO DATE THAT MORONIC SWEATER-WEARING FUCKHEAD DANCESTOR OF MINE MY THINKPAN IS GOING TO RUPTURE OUT MY GANDER BULBS AND BURST ALL OVER MY RESPITE BLOCK OUT OF SHEER 'FUCK-NO'.  
AC: :33 ugh no!  
AC: :33 its not him! hes such a hypurrcrite and never shuts up >:((  
AC: :33 but im not going to tell you who it is anyway! i want to see if things would will work first :OO  
AC: :33 and if it does then ill announce it!  
AC: :33 but furist i kinda need to take them on a date but idk what to do since theyre from beforus!!  
AC: :33 they dont even hunt there! other wise i would make a date tracking down large beasts and eating them for dinner :((  
AC: :33 it would be so romantic with the moons!! but noooo beforus trolls have to be all 'no violence' and 'stop killing giant animals and eating them' and...other stuff that im good at! ugh!  
CG: I ADMIT, THAT DOES KINDA LIMIT THE OPTIONS.  
CG: HOW ABOUT YOU  
CG: NO WAIT, THAT'S JUST A SHITTY IDEA AS WELL.  
CG: OKAY SO I CAN'T ASK WHO IT IS, BUT ARE THEY REALLY HIVESHIT MAGGOTS FUCKED UP? MAYBE YOU COULD JUST SHOW THEM AROUND THE METEOR OR SOME SHIT, AS LONG AS YOU'RE WITH THEM ALL THE TIME YOU'RE IN HERE. SCARIEST THING THEY'LL ENCOUNTER IS SOME CROSS-SPECIES FACE SLOBBERING AND DAVE'S SHITTY HUMAN ART.  
AC: :33 um i kinda want something more private though???  
AC: :33 that and i dont really know how theyll react to the humans  
AC: :33 meowby ill take them to the meteor later on if things work out  
CG: WELL JUST GO FOR A LONG WALK SOMEWHERE, THEN. LIKE ON ONE OF THOSE BIG ASS TREES WITH THE VIEW OF THE MOONS. OR HOW ABOUT THE BEACH? APPARENTLY THAT'S SOME RAMPANT HUMAN WOOING THING. JUST...NOT ON AN ALTERNIAN BEACH. KNOWING OUR LUCK YOU'LL GET MAULED TO DEATH BY SOME GIANT FUCKING SEA MONSTER AND THAT SURE AS SHIT WON'T HELP WITH YOUR QUADRANT ENDEAVORS.   
CG: SPEAKING OF QUADRANTS, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE EQUIUS GO ALONG WITH THIS WITHOUT HIM GETTING A HEMOSPECTRUM RAGE ANEURISM?   
AC: :33 ummmmm  
AC: :33 well i have to go get ready fur my date! thanks for the advice!!  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
  
CG: HEY, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!  
CG: WELL FINE, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO FUCKING KNOW ANYWAY.  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has logged out  


Nepeta re-captchalogued her tablet, biting her lower lip guiltily. Not the most graceful way to exit a conversation but she knew how stubborn Karkat could get when he decided to start nagging at people about romance. Well, at least she kinda had a vague idea what to do now.

Now, what to wear?

Nepeta was never one to fuss or flutter over clothing like Kanaya. She was just happy wearing her comfortable hunting jacket and the usual shirt and pants. Dressing up didn't really make sense to her. However, she knew it was 'expected' on Beforus, or something along those lines, due to Meulin's conversations with her. Dressing up fancy, not bringing weapons and...that was about all she knew. She wasn't going to leave defenseless (at least her gloves were subtle) but she could try the dressing up thing. Well, alright fancy. Fancy. 

Ugh, what _was_ fancy?

Nepeta hissed at her wall in distaste; all this weird flitting about and nervous freak-outs over _clothes_ of all things. She knew showing up in one of her prized pelts would just freak Horuss out but her casual outfit was exactly that- casual. She could go in her Derse robes or her Rogue outfit but that was...predictable? Not special? Well alright, it was obvious she was going to have to get aid from yet another friend. 

She roughly ejected her tablet again, annoyed that a seasoned shipper such as herself was stuck in such a rut over date preparation. However, she wasn't going to deliberately sabotage her date due to pride; she gave her word to both Pounce and Equius she would give it her best shot. Even if that means asking a lot of people for help like quadrant deprived wriggler.

  
arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]  
  
AC: :33 kanaya!!  
AC: :33 i really need your help! :((  
GA: I Am Here  
GA: Is There A Problem You Need Assistance With  
AC: :33 yes  
AC: :33 im trying to get purrpared for a date but i have nothing to wear  
AC: :33 at least nothing that would be appuropriate ://  
GA: You Have A Romantic Endeavor Planned  
AC: :33 yes!! but all my stuff is fur hunting and the like not fancy dates!  
AC: :33 you like fashion so i figured you had some fancy clothes i could borrow??? :OO  
GA: That Is Quite A Predicament  
GA: No Matter I Am Quite Equipped To Help You With Your Problem  
GA: How Fancy Is This Date Intended To Be  
GA: This Is Very Important Especially For A First Date  
AC: :33 um purrty fancy?? I want to make a good furrst impression so meowby something cute and...um attractive??  
AC: :33 ugh im sorry! im bad at this :XX  
GA: It Is Natural To Feel Nervous On The First Date  
GA: Hmm  
GA: I Will Send You Some Codes I Have For Articles Of Clothing That You Might Find Helpful  
AC: :33 *ac gratefully pounces upon the wonderful and fashionable rainbow drinker!!!*  
AC: :33 *she nuzzles her in gratitude!* :DD  
GA: I Wish You Luck On Your Date  
GA: I Certainly Would Not Be Adverse To Hearing How It Plans Out Later On And Whether Or Not You Require More Clothing Choices  
GA: As Always I Would Be Happy To Help With Any Fashion Crisis My Friends Are Confronted With  
AC: :33 of course! that is if it works out ://  
GA: You Would Be A Wonderful Matesprit For Anyone  
GA: It Is Red You're Looking For  
AC: :33 yes im trying fur flush!  
AC: :33 and if we get serious ill make sure everyone knows :))  
GA: Well Good Luck  
GA: And Please Let Me Know If You Need Anymore Fashion Aid  
AC: thanks! :33  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased trolling grimgrimAuxiliatrix [GA]  
  


Nepeta stood and moved over to her wardrobifier; Kanaya had just sent over a half dozen codes to her address. Carefully she entered the codes in the machine before proceeding to switch through them, trying to find one that appealed the most to her.

_Hmm, this one seems promising,_ Nepeta though as she touched the green fabric, tugging at skirt of the dress. It was fairly pretty, clean and green.

Still...Nepeta studied her outfit for a few more seconds, brushing it off a few times as she bit her lip. She glanced over at Pounce; the lusus gave an approving purr.

Alright, that's it. That's the outfit she going to wear. After all it was Kanaya approved and she knew all about fashion. She trusted her judgment.

Nepeta sucked in a breath, feeling as if her gut was filled with flutter beasts. Great, now she was getting incredibly itchy paws about the whole thing. Well, at least she had a nice outfit now. Still, she knew she had to get moving if she wanted to meet Horuss on time. He would probably just as vocal about being punctual as Equius and last thing she wanted was to start their date with getting lectured.

She glanced over at Pounce, who gave her one last reassuring purr. Nepeta nodded, expression serious, before leaving the cave with a flick of her tail and swish of skirts.

\-----

Nepeta found Horuss waiting for her down by the thick forest, sitting on the long roots of one of the trees. Fighting down her anxiety- honestly, she never felt this nervous even before a hunt- she carefully made her way down the stairs to the tall Sagittarius, holding the hem of her dress to avoid tripping. He looked up at her approach and stood upright, back straight.

As always a smile was fixed to his face; Nepeta wondered how he had the energy to keep smiling for so long. Still, she returned his grin with a smile of her own as she came to a stop in front of him, releasing the hem of her dress as she did so.

He made an odd, abortive movement, like he was going to take her hand but reconsidered at the last minute. Instead he gave her an odd, stilted wave. Stifling a giggle, Nepeta returned the gesture and said, "Um, hi! I hope I didn't leave you here fur too long."

Horuss shook his head, hair bobbing and smile still in place, "Neigh, I've only just come to pasture. I...I have no other pressing matters, so I simply arrived early."

Nepeta frowned at that, studying him closely- he seems drawn and weary, as he had gone without sleep or rest for a while. She inwardly cursed Equius for bothering the other Sagittarius when he was clearly still upset over his broken heart.

Carefully she reached out and touched his forearm, feeling the muscles jump underneath her hand at her unexpected contact, "If you're uncomfurtable with this we can just part ways. I don't want to upset you or make you feel that you have to purtend to want this."

Horuss's forced smile softened into something more genuine, his body relaxing slightly, "I appreciate the concern however I am hale. After all, it would hardly behoove me to bolt despite my recent stirrup," by the end, Horuss's brittle smile was firmly back in place.

However he didn't throw off her hand or make a back handed comment about being touched by her, so at least she knew he didn't have Equius's knee-jerk hemophobic behaviour. So, that was a few more points in his favour.

"You...you do look very nice."

Nepeta was dragged out of her musings when Horuss spoke, blinking at the unexpected compliment. He shifted awkwardly a few times and wrung his hands before continuing, "I apologize, I did not know we were supposed to saddle ourselves up for this occasion."

"Oh no, that's totally fine!" Even as inwardly she couldn't help but swoon; she made a mental note to thank Kanaya a few more times after this. Seems this fancy clothing thing really did work.

"Would you like to go fur a walk somewhere?" Even as she suggested it, she started to tug on Horuss's arm; Pounce was very clear at remaining calm and in control while stalking a prospective mate. Horuss nodded mutely, following along obediently. Nepeta struggled not to frown at his passiveness; despite his words it was obvious he was in pain. Well maybe she could try and cheer him up during this date.

Carefully she led the brooding blueblood up the stairs by his elbow and then up along the towering, twisting trunk of one of the trees which stretched up to the moons. It was so strange, like physics were just nonexistent. Well, they were dead-but-not-really so logic didn't really matter. Still, Karkat was right in the fact the bubbles did allow them to see some beautiful scenery.

She stopped on one of the upper branches, one that gave them a feather beast's view of most of the dream bubble, a massive expansion of green and sparkling star-sprinkled skies, occasionally littered with the strange vortex of mind pulses. Nepeta gazed at the sky for a few moments before she carefully sat down, legs hanging off the edge of the branch; Horuss settled down next to her, nearly an arms length away, his smile still on his face despite the rest of his face prescribed with pain. His gloved hands were clasped on his lap, shaking slightly.

Nepeta stifled a sigh before inching closer to him, taking care not to spook him. She knew he didn't have the same rage/personal space issues that Alternian trolls had, but she figured freaking him out would be a bad idea. Horuss didn't complain at her new proximity, even when she carefully settled against his side. She looked up at him but he was staring off into the distance, the strange sky reflected in his goggles. This close she could see all the intricate fixtures on his helmet, the thick black hair held up in a long tail, his oddly blunt teeth. The strong arch of his nose was an exact mirror of Equius's, as were the sharp cheek bones.

His ears twitched before he glanced over at her, as if he just noticed her blatant staring. Nepeta blushed slightly and she could feel awkwardness rise in a stifling fog around them.

Desperately she groped around for anything to turn into conversation before deciding to throw out the most obvious topic.

"I...you've all been dead fur a really long time, haven't you?"

Horuss barely even paused before replying, "Of horse. I do not know just how long ago, however. Time is strange here; sweeps pass as days. I will not deneigh it can get monotonous. However for Her Hayness it seems only days since we all were destroyed."

"Oh yeah, Meenah blew you all up didn't she? Aranea mentioned that. Something about breaking Beforus and making Alternia."

"It was an unexpected stirrup. None of us had any idea what Her Hayness intended to do. But I know that your session encountered just as many maneruffling hardships, such as the attack by the barkbeast demon. Is he the one who caused the demise of so many of your herd?"

"No, we kinda killed each other. Not during Sgrub though, I died later on. It was after Gamzee killed Equius so I attacked him. It didn't really work out since he broke my wrist and then he beat me until my thinkpan was bashed open and I died."

"Oh. That's...um, unfortunate."

The conversation once again descended into awkwardness and inwardly Nepeta cursed herself for bring up her death in such a relaxed manner; Dancestors were sensitive to violence, yet she was blithely bringing up her murder.

"Anyway," She said, trying to salvage the night, "Do you...what do you purrfur to do in your spare time, then? You must have a lot of it."

Horuss perked up at that, his smile becoming less brittle, "I do spend the majority of my time on noble hobbies, such as the intricate technological pursuits or robotics especially quadrupedal automatons which I make function through my own sweat so I can avoid resnorting with typically mechanics."

Nepeta struggled to stifle a frown; well okay, Equius didn't go that extreme with his sweat issues though she did have to give points to Horuss for his creativity.

"I will occasionally trot out new ideas for my stable of creativity, especially in regards for my mechanics. However, the main herd of my time is spent formulating the STRENGTHENING of my crafted self."

Nepeta jumped when Horuss all just shouted the word, barely stopping herself from unsheathing her battle claws.

"This is especially prominent in regards to my own inner field of musclebeast mentalities that I am host to, as well as a dozen assortment of others due to my own self reflections."

"You...you're a musclebeast?" Nepeta asked incredulously.

"Amongst other things, even hivehold appliances and nebula formations," Horuss said seriously, bobbing his head. He glanced at her and seemed to notice her bewildered expression. He quickly added, "However, I know such discussions can cause confusion towards someone of middling blood. I should have taken more care to use simpler wording."

Instantly Nepeta scowled, anger swarming across her face. Well, it took her longer than she expected for him to start with the slurs. She dealt with them enough from Equius- she'd be damned if she got them from someone she wasn't even in quadrants with. With an angry snarl she stood, brushing off her dress, her tail curling around her.

"Halt, you canter leave yet-"

"Oh yes I will!" she said furiously, glaring down at Horuss as he looked up at her with confusion, "I won't stay here and be insulted! If you think I'm just some stupid, dirty greenblood than I really can't be bothered with you!"

With that she stalked past him, intending to leave. Most likely to go back to her hive and rage at Pounce. Before she could get off the branch a hand grabbed her elbow; she jerked herself around, struggling not to unsheathe her claws and drive them in Horuss's face. Nepeta knew he meant no harm which was the only thing stopping her attack, but getting grabbed by a highblood never really was a good thing on Alternia.

She glared up at Horuss and was about to demand he release her but blinked when she realized he wasn't smiling- instead he was frowning. Nepeta relaxed her hands but still jerked her arm from the blueblood's grip; this time he released her, looking abashed.

"I, I apologize. I will reign in my behoofviour. I should not be so dismissive of you, especially when you have shown me kindness."

Nepeta just carried on scowling at the tall troll, unwilling to be tempted from her anger.

The blueblood hunched his shoulders slightly before he carefully reached out, tentatively placing his hands on her shoulders as if he was afraid she'd shatter. His pointed ears were curled down and his frown was still firmly in place.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to spook you with my foal language. It was unworthy of my blo- neigh, it was-" Horuss trailed off, flustered and blushing heavily.

Pity suddenly clogged Nepeta's throat at seeing him suddenly tongue-tied and awkward; quite obviously he wasn't used to being called out. Damn him for being so soft and anxious when she wanted nothing more than a valid excuse to reject him.

"Well...fine, just don't do it again," Nepeta reluctantly dropped her scowl, struggling to control the pity roiling in her thinkpan.

Horuss exhaled a gust of breath, ears perking up and a smile taking its place back on his face. Nepeta really wished he would stop with the smiling; it was just weird and creepy. Also, constant baring of teeth was seen as a threat for her- a show off for flesh-tearing fangs. She knew it wasn't intentional, but it still bothered her.

The Sagittarius removed his hands from her shoulders, making a few aborted movements before he finally offered her his elbow, "I think...I think it is time to return to the stable and put up our tack. If you would allow me to trot you back to your pen?"

For a few seconds she just looked at him in confusion; she knew he was offering to walk her back to her hive (numerous RP games had made her adapt at deciphering puns) but she wasn't too sure what he wanted her to do with his arm. After a few frozen seconds- and watching Horuss begin to sweat profusely- she awkwardly linked her arm through his, shifting so she was pressed against his side and uncaring as sweat seeped through the fabric of her dress.

He smiled at her, genuine and soft, before he began to escort her down the tree.

\-----

Horuss escorted her all the way back to the entrance of her cave in her land. They didn't speak on the way back, but Nepeta didn't mind the silence; it was comfortable, unlike before. They halted before her cave, the little cubes crunching beneath their feet. Nepeta gently pulled her hand from his elbow as the blueblood glanced around her land before looking back at her.

She half expected him to dismiss her without a word or let her down by making a few back-handed hemophobic remarks about her blood and rank before parting ways. Instead Horuss shuffled his feet a few times, the tips of his ears curling down slightly as he glanced from left to right, sweat beading his face as if he were thinking hard about something.

_Probably doesn't want to be seen with me or trying to think of how to let me down simply enough for me to understand,_ Nepeta thought, suddenly bitter at the Sagittarius's jittery behaviour, _after all, I'm nothing more than some dirty gutterblood to the likes of him. Bet he only agreed to this because Equius nagged at him to, out of respect for his stupid blue blood._

Nepeta was about to make a snarky comment at the blueblood but he suddenly stepped forwards, reaching out and carefully taking a hold of her hand in his gloved ones. For a bizarre moment she thought Horuss was going to try and shake her hand, like she'd witnessed the humans do on occasion. Instead he brought her hand up to his face as he bent down, gently pressing a kiss to her scarred knuckles, completely heedless of the sheathed claws underneath his lips.

Instantly Nepeta flushed green to the roots of her hair, her hands shaking. She had no idea how to react to that.

Gently Horuss released her and stepped back, his face mottled blue.

"I...hope you had a pleasant evening, Ms Lei- Nepeta. I canter say I would be adverse to meeting with you again," Horuss said, sweat sliding down his face. They stared at each other for a few moments, Horuss nervous while Nepeta gazed at him with her mouth opened slightly before the Sagittarius gave her a quick, formal bow and absconded so quickly she half thought he had teleported.

Nepeta remained frozen outside of the entrance of her cave, still blushing. She was barely even aware of the dream bubble morphing into a memory until she was sitting inside Equius's lab on the meteor, dressed in her usual attire and surrounded by robot heads. She stared at the blood-stained wall for a few seconds, rubbing her thumb across the knuckles Horuss had kissed before slowly raising it to her face, feeling the flush of blood in her cheeks.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horuss is like Equius in overdrive with his fuckin' horse puns omg
> 
> Nepeta is comparing Horuss to Equius so much because she doesn't really think they're that different at the moment; she just views Horuss as a bigger, sweatier version of Equius without the bloodrage problems. He's not, they're fairly different people she just doesn't know Horuss enough to difference between the two. She will soon enough.
> 
> Also, in terms of strength, I think Nepeta is one of the more physically powerful trolls; she is, after all, able to withstand physical contact with Equius and bowl him clean off his feet with her pouncegreets. So she isn't going to shatter if Equius or Horuss touch her. I mean, they could still easily kill her if they became hostile within arms reach but she won't snap if they hug her or something.
> 
> Horuss was described as a full-blown Renaissance man. I figured he would do some classy things for a lady, even if Nepeta doesn't really know wtf he is doing most of the time. He's still kinda hemophobic, but from living in Beforus I doubt he'd had low bloods straight out confront him like Nepeta did, which is why he was like 'wtf okay I'm sorry', since not even Kankri calls him out on his bloodist slurs.
> 
> And Nepeta, telling Horuss how you got your brains bashed out of your head via crazed clown isn't a good thing to do on a first date. Even if said first date was extremely awkward anyway.
> 
>  
> 
> GFZDJFSDLK FUCK U AO3 EATIN MY CHAPTER
> 
> Ugh


	4. Chapter 4

Nepeta remained sitting on the floor of the bubble for a long while before slowly getting up to her feet. Her face was still mottled green as she wandered around the memory.

She was kinda glad Horuss had left so quickly; her and Equius's bloodstains were fresh on the floor though their bodies were gone. Considering Horuss's fairly disturbed reaction to her telling him about their violent deaths she doubted he would want to see the physical evidence. The troll peered closer at the blood, noting the small splotches of indigo mixed with blue and green. She sighed, ears curling down. Great, seems that she stumbled into a 'died via intense beating' bubble. Nepeta wasn't too sure if this was a doomed timeline bubble or the Alpha but either way she didn't really want to linger. She was accepting of her death - Equius not much - but she still didn't like visceral reminders, much less the thick scent of their still-drying blood on the floor.

Instead she studied the giant jars scattered around the room, peering at the silhouettes of lusus slumbering within. Absentmindedly she ran her thumb back along her knuckles as she walked around a jar, wondering why the blueblood did the oddly flattering gesture. It was probably something 'aristocratic' or something snobbery along those lines.

_Flattering yet stupid_ she thought as she flicked her wrist, unsheathing the long battle claws. His lips had rested directly above them; if she had chosen to unsheathe them she could have punctured his thinkpan, killing him instantly. Well he would have reassembled again sometime later but that wasn't the point. Stupid, trusting, soft, _pitiful_ blueblood.

Damnit, now what was she going to do? Nepeta couldn't deny she was now curious about Horuss. The hemophobic attitude wasn't unexpected, though she was a little surprised at how quickly he'd caved at her confrontation. Even after all her nagging Equius still held onto his ridiculous blood caste mentalities. However as far as she knew Horuss was a more insane version of her moirail that just smiled all over the place. 

Even as she thought that she felt a pang of guilt- after all she was annoyed when Karkat simply described Meulin as just a grown-up constantly-screaming version of her, yet she was dismissing Horuss as a carbon copy of Equius.

She rubbed her temples. This self-musing wasn't helping. Hmm. Well, she needed a feelings jam then. After all she did promise to visit Equius afterwards and inform him of what had occurred with Horuss. But first she had to figure out how to get out of the bubble. That or wait for it to pass-

"Nepeta?"

At the sudden voice Nepeta whirled, claws unsheathed and teeth bared. She immediately stopped as she recognized the form of her hulking moirail emerging from the shadows.

"Oh, sorry! I thought you were an imp or... something," Nepeta said sheepishly, flicking her long battle claws back into their housing and straightening up, "What are you doing here?"

Equius glanced around the giant jar room, his face twisted in discomfort, "I...I was waiting at your hive. I know you said you would come visit me afterwards but I wanted to...." he trailed off, a frown upon his face as he stared at the two blood stains on the floor.

"But then the dream bubble shifted and I found myself here again. And I just...stayed."

Stayed and wallowed in guilt no doubt. Nepeta heaved a deep, mental sigh; she had already forgiven her moirail, even before the bizarre Fefeta/ARquius scenario with those screaming beige coloured loonies. In truth she never blamed him for what happened and she hated that he still beat himself up over it.

She glanced back at Equius who was staring at the blood stains has if trying to bore the image of those splatters into his mind. Now he was brooding and she knew it just made things a hundred times worse for Equius. At his lowest he would retreat into intense sessions of angst-fulled isolation that taxed Nepeta to the extreme with trying to comfort him and draw her moirail from his depression. That wouldn't happen now, not today and not after everything they endured. They _deserved_ some peace, damnit.

Before Equius could look up Nepeta abruptly moved forward, wrapping her arms around Equius in a tight hug and trying to convey all her feelings of pity and affection through that one action.

Her moriail stiffened- obviously caught off guard - but before he could respond to her embrace she pulled away and slipped her hand into his cooler one and started to tug him across the room, taking a wide berth to avoid walking past the blood stains.

"Come on," She said gently, "We need a jam."

He followed along silently until they reached their original room on the meteor, looking exactly as it had before they died. Nepeta gently pulled him to the massive pile of robot heads, climbing up on the cold metal and settling on her side. Equius followed without hesitation, lying down a few feet away and looking strained.

Quick as a slither beast she snatched his glasses off, giving him a shoosh and a pap when he began to protest. He settled back down, muscles tense and a few beads of sweat dotting his forehead. The blank whiteness of his eyes made the blue lines underneath them even more vivid. She fought back a wave of melancholy, instead focusing on Equius.

"Meow, what's wrong?"

Equius's lips twisted and looked like he was tempted to abscond; Nepeta quickly reached out and gripped one of his hand in hers, pulling it up so it was resting underneath her chin and continued to gaze at him, trying to silently prompt him into speaking.

Her moirail avoided her gaze for a few seconds before slumping against the robotics with a grunt and saying, "There is...it's all very unsatisfactory."

She gave his knuckles a quick bite at the deliberately vague answer causing him to continue, "No, it's just...seeing all this again just reminds me of everything I died for. I...died gladly. Subjuggated by someone finally worthy of killing me. But you followed me. I didn't know..."

Nepeta was tempted to clout him around the ears; silly blueblood, he never listened even when she told him over and over she forgave him. Instead she carefully papped his brow, soothing away the stress lines.

"Stop that," she said sternly, "I told you- I attacked Gamzee, myself. You were already dead, its not like you could've helped."

"I didn't stop him first-"

"You heard what Aradia said! Gamzee kills all of us in a different timeline- no one else could stop him either! He just kills them all. There's only one troll to blame and its the one who strangled you and beat my head open. It's his fault, not yours," she gave a low hiss to emphasis her words, trying to force her moirail to believe her.

Judging from his distressed expression he was still teetering on the edge of a massive guilt trip. Nepeta knew trying to force it out of him wouldn't work; he'd just get all flustered and tongue tied then hole himself up somewhere. Alright then, they'd just discuss something else. Hopefully that would help draw him out of his brooding.

"Well, how about I tell you about how things went with Horuss?"

A lopsided smile appeared on her moirail's face, his broken teeth showing, "I told you a superior-"

She bit his knuckles again in a gentle reprimand, "He was not 'superior'! Not in any way. Well, he did think so since he pretty much said I was a moron and would dumb down his language for me." 

Equius's smile vanished at that and his brow furrowed. His hand twitched in her grip.

"Well, you must've expected that!" she scolded, "After all, he's just as into the hemospectrum as you are."

"I suppose...Still, I will not tolerate slander towards you. You are an exemplary example of a middling blood." Even after her moirail said that she could still see the irritation in his frame.

She pulled herself towards him, slinging the hand she was holding around her shoulder as she snuggled up against Equius's broad chest, insinuating herself up against him, hands tucked up under her chin. Nepeta felt him tense even more before he carefully wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head between her horns. She purred deeply and nuzzled Equius's throat, comforted by his familiar smell of sweat, metal and oil. He rumbled in response and pulled her closer as she continued to speak.

"Well, I did get furrious at him. It was kinda funny how he got nervous and twitchy when I yowled at him. At least it made him stop smiling..."

"Yes, his smiling is...somewhat unsettling."

"Creepy more like," she mumbled against Equius's cool throat, "I dunno how he gets the energy to do it all the time."

She felt him inhale, his breath ruffling her hair, "But after that initial...caste disagreement was he erm respectful of you?"

"He didn't get all grasping fronds if that's what your asking," she grinned into his neck.

"Good, he shows the true restraint of a highblood. Are you...inclined to initiate further encounters with him?"

That last part was said very quietly and Nepeta knew she could just pretend she didn't hear him and Equius would leave it at that.

"Actually...he seems purrty lonely and sad. I think...I think I might see if I can meet up with him again."

Equius let out an approving purr and nuzzled her hair; Nepeta burrowed further into her moirail's cool chest. The conversation stopped after her admittance. Instead the two just remained holding each other, taking comfort in each others company. 

It was only a few hours later that they began to move, stirring from the light doze they had fallen into.

With a few stumbles they managed to extract themselves from the cumbersome robot-head pile and each other, Nepeta holding tight onto her moiral's hand as they finally staggered out.

Nepeta purred and rubbed against Equius's side, causing him to plant a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Now don't you carry on brooding, do you hear me?" she said, peering up at his face, "We can't do anything to change it. So don't stress yourself out, okay?"

Equius looked like he was about to argue but instead he smiled at her, showing crooked and broken teeth, "Of course. I'm sorry I burdened you with this."

She huffed and gave his arm a playful punch, "I'm your meowrail, your burden is my burden."

He inclined his head, still smiling. Suddenly he moved forward, pulling her into a strong hug. Surprised but delighted Nepeta eagerly returned his embrace, nuzzling him.

"I don't care if you think you're imposing on me," she murmured, "If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Always."

"And I for you."

\-----

Nepeta slept soundlessly that night, tucked up against Pounce's warm side. That was one benefit to being dead; unless they actively sought them out, the horrorterrors would typically leave them alone. As such when she awoke the next 'day' she was well rested and content. 

She yawned, rolling away from Pounce and stretching, feeling the bones of her spine click before she sprawled back onto the pelts, purring contentedly. Pounce shuffled up to her and started to groom the troll's hair with rough tongues. Nepeta remained curled up on the pelts for a while, just enjoying her guardian's ministrations before Pounce stopped and gave her charge a pointed nudge.

The troll groaned in annoyance but rolled and stood up. She flexed her fingers as she wandered over to her shipping wall, arching her back slightly to work out any kinks as she did so. Carefully she traced the pictures with calloused fingers, making sure not to smudge the paint. Nepeta paused at the largest picture- of her and Equius with numerous small pink diamonds surrounding them. Next the image was a blank space, one she had cautiously left empty in the hopes she'd be able to add a canon matespritship next to her moirallegiance.

She pressed her hand against the blank spot, a smile crossing her face; it certainly would be amusing if she managed to get both Sagittarius's in her quadrants- the bluebloods who were apparently unlikeable creeps. Well, she wasn't disagreeing with the creep thing but she pitied and liked Equius well enough and could certainly acknowledge all the good things about him while everyone seemed to refer to him with distaste. She felt protective anger whenever she overhead them talking about her moirail, sometimes not even bothering to make sure Equius was out of earshot when they did so, as if he was just some sweaty weirdo with no feelings. 

...Which was kinda what she'd been doing to Horuss.

Well, maybe she wasn't obvious about it but she certainly was just viewing him as an insane version of her moirail with longer hair. Hair she now wanted to run her hands through to see if it was as soft as it looked-

Nepeta gave a groan, pressing the heel of her palm against her eyes. Okay, she could admit Horuss was alright- he would probably be pretty good looking if he stopped the constant smiling thing. In terms of attitude...well, he was weird but she thinks he's a lot less likely to kill her than any of her own friends, so that was a few more points in his favour. Even if he did decide to attack her he would be no where near her skill level in melee combat. Alright, that was probably the Alternia-breed paranoia speaking since only two of the Beforus trolls seemed violent, but still.

Pounce stirred Nepeta from her internal rambling by rubbing up against her leg. The troll scratched her lusus's ears, thinking.

"I know...no point wander about 'if' when I should be trying 'how'." 

The lean feline twined around her charge's legs, purring deep in her throat and placed a paw on the blank space of her shipping wall. She then gave Nepeta's hand a brief, firm nip with her upper mouth.

Nepeta gave a mock scowl and said playfully, "Alright, alright! I'll go see what Horuss's is doing today. Sheeesh, you're such a slavedriver!" 

Pounce opened her mouths in a toothy smile at that and she rubbed up against Nepeta's legs with renewed vigor for a few moments before trotting over to the thick pelts and settling back on her haunches. 

Nepeta meanwhile switched on the wardrobefier, figuring she'd get dressed 'fancy' first, and flicked through the dresses Kanaya had given her before she settled on the light blue one, with black stockings and knee high blue socks and shoes. She brushed down the skirt- it was a bit shorter than she'd like, but the length meant it didn't hinder her strides as she walked over to her customary seat against Pounce before ejecting her tablet.

She scanned trollian and wrinkled her nose when she saw that Horuss's handle was greyed out. She could probably ask Meulin where he was but she didn't want to deal with the constant raging about shipping. Nepeta liked shipping, she just wasn't as...intense about as Meulin was. That girl had a bit of problem. Then again so did all the Dancestors. But either way, she didn't want to deal with Meulin's quadrant drilling just yet; she wasn't about to blurt out she was scouting out Horuss for a matesprit. She'd prefer a little privacy. However first she had to talk to Horuss and she didn't want to just barge on into his hive or corner him somewhere publicly, so she'd just wait until he was online and ask him to meet up somewhere private.

So instead she amused herself by doodling on her tablet, drawing numerous pictures of Pounce, of the Black King, of her friends. As the hours trickled by Horuss's trollian tag didn't light up once despite all the others doing so at least twice. After three hours she started to gnaw on her lower lip, feeling uneasy. It was probably just nervousness but something scolded her, urging her to seek out the other Sagittarius. Nepeta had a hunch it was her Rogue powers urging her to seek him out. 

Damnit. Well, Meulin was still online and she would probably know where Horuss was.

  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] began trolling  agoutiCeridwen [AC2]  
  
AC1: :33 *the huntress prowls along the branches of a tree eying her prey!*   
AC1: :33 *she crouches and flicks her tail!*  
AC2: (=^・O・^=) HEEEEEY!!  
AC2: (^・ω・^) HOW HAVE YOU B33N? YOU HAVEN'T BE AROUND TO HELP ME SHIP IN AGES!  
AC1: :33 *ac rubs at an ear in embarrassment*  
AC1: :33 im sorry! ive just had some stuff going down that kept me purty busy  
AC2: (=^-ω-^=) THAT'S OKAY.  
AC2: (=^ω^=) I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY MYSELF WITH ALL THESE BALLS OF YARN IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW DUE TO ALL THE SHIPPING!  
AC2: ヽ (=^・ω・^=)ノ THERE'S SO MANY I CAN'T EVEN CAN RIGHT NOW...  
AC1: :33 um okay  
AC1: :33 anyway have you s33n horuss around???   
AC1: :33 he hasnt b33n online!  
AC2: (^・o・^) OMGOMGOMGMOGMOGMOG!  
AC2: ヾ(=°・°=)ノ ARE THESE SHIPPING F333333333LS I S33?????????  
  


_Crap. Quick, make something up._

  
AC1: :33 oh no its not like that!  
AC1: :33 its just equius is looking fur him but has no idea where horuss is so i figured id help him out :OO  
AC1: :33 he probably just wants someone to talk about machinery or gross musclebeasts with ://  
AC2: (=；ェ；=) AWW TOO BAD!  
AC2: (^・O・^) I THINK HORUSS DOES N33D SOME F33LS RIGHT NOW!  
AC1: :33 whys that?  
AC2: (^・_・^) WE KINDA JUST BROKE UP!   


Nepeta inadvertently stopped drawing, eyebrows furrowed. 

She felt another wave of pity for Horuss; he hadn't even gone a week with a broken heart now his diamond was broken too. She didn't really celebrate Meulin's and Horuss's moirailaligence when she found out - it was fairly obvious to her it wasn't a particularity healthy one, since they just exacerbated each others bad tendencies - but she knew getting two broken quadrants so close to one another wouldn't be a pleasant thing for anyone.

  
AC1: :33 oh...  
AC1: :33 that isnt good! :((  
AC2: (^・ω・^) YEAH BUT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT N33DED TO BE DONE!!!!!!!!!  
AC2: (=^・O・^=) I MEAN, I SPOKE WITH KURLOZ A LOT ABOUT IT AND HE HELPED ME S33 THAT IT WASN'T A GOOD THING THAT WE DID, JUST POUNCING IN A QUADRANT LIKE THAT!  
AC2: (^-人-^) SHIPPING IS REALLY SERIOUS! THAT'S WHY WE N33DED TO SEPARATE SINCE WE JUST WEREN'T SHIPPING RIGHT.  
AC1: :33 okay ://  
AC1: :33 do you know where he is though  
AC2: ヽ(=^-ω-^=)ﾉ I THINK HE'S AT HIS LITTER, THE CAVE AND SILENCE PLACE.  
AC2: (=^・ェ・^=) HE'S PROBABLY CLAWING UP HIS SCRATCH POST TO HELP WITH THE F33LS.  
AC2: (=TωT=) OH WELL, AT LEAST NOW HE'S OPEN UP TO ANOTHER NEW QUADRANT SHIPPING!  


Nepeta had to clench her hands, struggling not to angrily rant at Meulin for her flippant attitude. She knew it wasn't really the other Leo's fault she was being so dismissive of Horuss, but really? She was acting nearly as terrible as Equius, trying to shove the poor, diamond-broken Sagittarius to another a quadrant without even giving him time to grieve.

_It's just so...so...unprofessional of a shipper,_ she thought angrily, teeth bared. Any seasoned shipper should know you need to let quadrants heal before trying to ram them into another. 

_I bet Kurloz has half-rotted her think pan with his creepy clown magic,_ Nepeta growled lowly, _Any shipper knows that behaviour is just wrong._

A second later she blinked, a little bit surprised at how angry and defensive she felt over Horuss. Damnit, she knew she was in trouble. Oh well, she'll deal with that later. First thing first; she needed to find Horuss.

  
AC2: (^・ω・^) HEY!  
AC2: (^・o・^) DID YOU LOG OFF? OMG ARE YOU OFF TO UPDATE YOUR SHIPPING WALL WITH MORE SHIPS?????????  
AC1: :33 no sorry just lost my thoughts!  
AC1: :33 anyway thanks fur your help  
AC2: ┏(=^..^=)┛ OKAY!  
AC2: ~(=^‥^)ノ COME BY AND TALK SHIP SOME TIME! NO ONE ELSE SHIPS LIKE WE DO!!!!!!!!!   
arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased trolling agoutiCeridwen [AC2]  
  


Expression hard Nepeta stood, catchaloguing her tablet, brushing off her dress and giving a quick goodbye to Pounce. She didn't even bother to change as she darted from her lair, sprinting along the thick white landscape of her world. The dress was short enough it didn't hinder her strides as she bounded up a hill, nimbly climbing up a teapot and springing straight up and going through the shimmering blue gate above it. She felt the familiar distortion as she was transported from her land of Little Cubes and Tea into the land of Caves and Silence.

Nepeta watched as the deep blue ground hurtled towards her, feeling the air whip through her hair and skirts as she plummeted down, stomach lurching at the abrupt change of direction. She carefully shifted her weight, ignoring the massive stalagmites and waterfalls she fell past as the ground came closer and closer to her.

She twisted at the last moment and with a _thud_ she landed on all fours, the impact jarring her bones but otherwise causing no harm.

The Leo remained still for a few seconds before standing upright, glancing around the eerily quiet caverns. Damn, he was most likely in one of the hundreds of caves littering the land. It would take her sweeps to check all of them. Nepeta briefly thought about trolling Equius but dismissed the idea just as quickly; he would most likely drone on and on about how Horuss _would be STRONG and hey Nepeta go hit on him some more neigh._

Alright she was exaggerating a little bit, but Equius could be mind-numbingly blind to basic courtesy despite being a so-called royal. She wanted to box his ears sometimes.

She started to walk down the steep cliff of the cavern, ears perked upright for any nose. She made her way across the massive expanse of space, sniffing faintly as she did so. Nepeta jumped across a chasm and carried on making her way towards a circular cliff face littered with numerous caves. She figured Horuss would want somewhere private to mourn so he would no doubt be deep in the bowels of one of the caves. One of the many, _many_ caves.

She stopped in the middle of the pit, glancing around in dismay; there were at least a hundred caves imbedded in the cliff face. She bit her lower lip, half tempted to start yelling for him. Suddenly inspiration struck and Nepeta paused, bringing her hands up to her temple. Carefully she began to try and focus on her Heart abilities, struggling to see if she could locate the Sagittarius with them. Her teeth clenched as she tried to focus her will, attempting to read any souls in her vicinity. 

_Damnit, this wasn't- wait!_ Nepeta blinked, eyes snapping open. There, a brief, tiny flicker of pinks in front of her and slightly off to the left.

Instantly she bounded across the hard rock ground towards the cave in question, eyes locked on the place she'd seen the pink glow. She made a bee-line to the gaping mouth of the caves. She paused, sniffing at the entrance of one of the largest caves near the base of the cliff; this close, the scent of sweat and tears still lingered in the air. Seems the most likely candidate.

"Horuss?" She called as she peeked into the yawning depths, "Horuss, are you in here?"

There was no response- not that she really expected any - so she slowly ventured inside, moving down the winding tunnel, eyes easily adapting to the lack of light.

It was after a while of wandering, of peering around corners, hopping over chasms and sniffing at the air before she finally entered a large, bowl-like chamber. Massive chunks of rock were scattered across the crater-laden floor. It was if some giant cyclops had thrown a rage. Or an emotionally distraught highblood. 

Pity swept over Nepeta as she carefully made her way through the carnage. Some of the jagged rocks were flecked with blue- either from tears or blood she wasn't sure. She managed to get to the other side of the cavern with nary a scratch where a single exit was waiting.

A single sniff and she was venturing into the yawning depths. 

The long tunnel lead to a small hollow, barely half the size of her cave. And there, sitting against the far end, was Horuss.

He was curled over, sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest with his forehead pressed against his knees. Strong tremors shook his frame and the scent of tears was almost overwhelming.

She blinked, trying to figure out what was so wrong. Then she realized; he wasn't wearing his helmet and his hair was freed, hanging down his shoulders and sides like a thick curtain of black. For a few seconds she was taken aback at how long his hair was; standing, it would have most likely reached the small of his back.

A pathetic whine from the blueblood interrupted her fascination; her pity roused, Nepeta hurried forward, making sure her footsteps were audible as she halted a few feet in front of him. She knew he wasn't violent and most likely too miserable to be so, but she wasn't about to push her luck.

Instead she knelt down and said quietly, "Horuss?"

The Sagittarius twitched at that, hands clenching before he stirred slightly but made no response.

Slowly she began to inch forward, acutely aware of just how bigger he was than her, as she carefully shifted until she was sitting next to him, her back braced against the cold stone wall and her side pressing against his.

Carefully Nepeta reached out and rested her hand upon his check. Slowly she slid her hand up his face, taking care not to scratch him with her claws, until she reached his ear. She gently tugged on it until he raised his head from his knees and turned towards her, his mouth twisted into a deep frown. This close she could see all the blue tear tracks staining his face, the small tremors raking his strong frame.

_Oh gods, he's a complete mess,_ she thought as she stroked his sharp check bones. Even as she caressed him he pressed his face against her hands, letting out a shaky moan. As she watched he shut his blank eyes, a few more blue tears escaping.

On impulse she leaned forward, tugging his face down towards hers. She kissed him, careful and sweet, tasting the sweat and tears on his lips. Horuss gave an odd jolt at her unexpected kiss, his body tensing. Nepeta let him go then, pulling back from the kiss, flushing violently and certain she had completely crossed his boundaries. But before she could even begin to apologize Horuss seized her and dragged her into an embrace, kissing her desperately.

Instinctively she wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling the thick tendons twitch under her fingers. Horuss slid his hands around her back, fingers resting along either side of her spine as he pulled her flush against him. Nepeta shifted her lips against his, tilting her head to the side to get better access. She nibbled at his cool lips and slid her hands into his loose hair, tugging on the long tresses. Horuss gave a loud moan she felt more than heard, a deep bass rumble that caused her to shiver.

She probed against his lips with her tongue, gently licking them until he tentatively parted his lips. He tensed as she slid her tongue into his mouth, licking against his own tongue. Horuss's remained ridged for a few seconds before relaxing and timidly returning the deep kiss.

She tangled her hands into his thick long hair, using it was leverage to arch up against his chest. Horuss let out a odd, stilted whine as she yanked on his hair, breaking the kiss and began to breathe harshly. Nepeta growled but started to nip gently at his lips before nuzzling against him. Spurred by instinct she nosed down his cheek and jaw, lapping lightly at the rivulets of sweat before mouthing at the thick pulsing vein along his neck. Carefully she peeled back her lips and sunk her teeth into Horuss's thick skin, hard enough to leave a mark. The blueblood's muscles jumped underneath her fangs, an odd stilted whinny-like noise escaping him. He clamped his hands onto her hips, his breathing harsh in her ear. She felt something squirm underneath her lap and impulsively ground down on it.

Moaning, he squeezed her rump again before trailing his hands back up her sides, causing her to gasp as they brushed against her grub scars beneath her dress. Horrus carefully fondled the raised marks until she was purring and squirming eagerly against his lap before removing his hands and placing them on her shoulders where he began to toy with the sleeves of her dress.

Nepeta groaned and yanked hard at his hair. Horuss growled and a sound of ripping fabric tore through the cave. She glanced down, blinking at the torn off shoulders of her dress.

_Whoops, hope Kanaya doesn't mind,_ Nepeta thought giddily before starting to rut up against the blueblood, causing them both to groan.

Sweat slid down Horuss's face and dripped off his chin. His long hair was plastered against his neck and shoulders from perspiration and Nepeta's dress was sticking to his arms and stomach. The thick smell filled her nostrils, the unmistakable potent scent of a strong virile troll that caused Nepeta's more feral instincts to growl in anticipation. She eagerly squirmed on his lap, feeling her bulge coiling against its sheath. She started to mouth back along his neck, licking up the trails of sweat only for Horuss to abruptly lean backwards, gripping her shoulders.

Confused, Nepeta glanced up at his face only to find it twisted in embarrassment. 

"I'm- I apologize, this- sweating is completely unbehooved-"

She stopped his nervous stuttering with her lips, kissing him repeatedly until he fell silent.

"I don't care."

A smile, genuine and shy settled on Horuss's face even as more sweat slid down his jaw. He slowly slid his hands down her bare shoulders and settling them on her sides, a deep purr emanating from his chest.

Squirming against his lap, she stretched up, nibbling on his ear and drawing blood with her fangs. She then raked her hands along his sides, sliding them along the fabric of his shirt before she located the raised bumps of his own grub scars. His muscles twitched violently under her thighs before a deep rusty purr rumbled from his chest. Smiling, Nepeta gently sank her teeth into his neck, worrying her fangs into her previous mark.

_Mine,_ she thought, mind dark and feral, sinking her teeth in further and tasting the sharp tang of blood. Horuss's hands clenched on her sides, a loud moan escaping him. She was tempted to continuing groping his scars but instead she tugged at his belt, growling lowly against his neck as she fumbled drunkenly at the thick leather. She struggled to undo the latches underneath his symbol until she finally unlatched her teeth from his neck and unsheathed her battle claws in frustration. Horuss tensed underneath her but before he could say anything she sliced through his belt with a flick of wrist. Barely pausing to retract her claws, Nepeta slid her hands into his open pants and started to draw the tips her claws across the soft insides of Horuss's thighs. The blueblood let out a high trill to which Nepeta responded with a chirp of her own, rubbing her head up against his jaw.

Horuss groaned and lowered his head, sliding his horns against hers, a low rumble resonating through his chest. Nepeta dug her claws lightly into his thighs, using it as leverage to kiss him again. Eagerly he seized her and half-crushed her up against him, kissing her so hard it sucked the breath from her lungs. 

A sharp _riiiiip_ rang through the air as Horuss's bulge tore through his blue-stained briefs. She jerked back from the kiss in surprise as the thick tendril curled up against her stomach, leaving small smears of deep blue.

A strangled noise came from the Sagittarius; she looked up and couldn't help but giggle at the utterly mortified expression on his face. She stopped when she noticed his expression change from embarrassment to deep hurt and she quickly stretched up and kissed his nose.

"It's okay," she whispered, nuzzling the side of his face as she carefully wrapped one of her hands around his bulge. 

He jerked upright as if he'd been electrocuted and a high-pitched whine escaped his throat. Nepeta squirmed backwards on his lap and slipped her other hand down, carefully flexing her fingers around the flexing tentacle. Horuss tipped forward so his forehead was resting on her shoulder, soft whimpers emanating from him and she gave an affection nip to his ear.

She slowly slid her calloused fingers around the thick appendage, feeling the ridges, ghosting her nails over the rough ridges lining the underside as its blue lubricant began to slick up her hands. Her own bulge twitched uncomfortably, still trapped within its sheath. Horuss's body shuddered underneath her, his hands clenching at her hips as she pressed her thumb against the fleshy tip. Nepeta squirmed on his lap, hands twitch on his bulge, her nook wet, limbs flushing hot with arousal.

Horuss gave an impatient snarl - so loud in her ear she jumped in surprise - and slid his hands down, gripping her tights. With a jerk of his hands he tore the thin fabric from her thighs and rump. 

The blueblood nuzzled at her throat, slipping his hands back to grip her rear and jerk her forward. She released his twitching bulge and grabbed onto his shoulder for balance, moaning as her own bulge finally squirmed free of its sheath, olive green already seeping from it.

Nepeta was almost overwhelmed by the potent scent of arousal, both from herself and Horuss and it made her giddy and light-headed. She whined impatiently, her thighs trembling as her bulge rubbed against Horuss's. He tugged her forward and she felt a spike of anxiety burst through her fog of arousal; she'd never done this kind of thing before and suddenly she was beset by misgivings and nervousness.

Horuss must have picked up on the sudden tension in her frame as he nuzzled at her face, a deep soothing croon emerging from his throat. Nepeta's hivebrain instinctively relaxed at the noise and her muscles slowly unclenched as she slumped up against his broad chest, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He licked at her neck before pulling her forward again. She pressed her legs tighter against Horuss's sides, shuddering as she felt the tip of his bulge rubbing against the flushed wet lips of her nook.

Horuss nosed inquiringly against her throat; swallowing her nervousness, Nepeta let out a breathless, "Yes."

She barely had time to blink before he pulled her flush-up against his hips. She let out a yelp of surprise as she felt the tip of his bulge slip up into her wet nook. She sank her claws into his shoulders, moaning lowly as the cool tendril slid further into her, arching her spine as she felt her walls stretch to try and accommodate his size. Horuss groaned loudly, jerking his hips up against hers and causing more of his bulge to slip up into her. Her own bulge squirmed against her stomach, leaving long smears of green.

Struggling not to wince, Nepeta rolled her hips up against him, panting quickly as he finally managed to slide the rest of his bulge inside her until he was fully seated in her. She could feel the thick pulse of his bloodpusher through the organ inside her, gasping as it twitched sporadically. Horuss groaned, wrapping his arms around her back and breathing roughing. They remained in their embrace for a moment until Nepeta's body was adjusted to his girth and she nuzzled his face.

Her own bulge squirmed between them, green staining their fronts; Nepeta growled and bit Horuss's neck, leaving another bite. He shuddered, panting wetly and the bulge with Nepeta slowly began to undulate. The greenblood shook violently, moaning incoherently as her head lolled back. Nepeta then jerked up and grunted as she felt her own bulge shift, squirming between their bodies and brushing against the thick root of Horuss's before slipping down through the torn hole of Horuss's briefs. 

She keened as her bulge slid up into the tight coolness of Horuss's nook, causing the blueblood to let out a strangled gasp. The two of them clung to each other, Nepeta drawing blood with her claws and teeth while Horuss tugged her more firmly up against his chest. Gradually his grip on her relaxed, the muscles clenching her bulge easing and causing her to sigh. 

Slowly Horuss began to shift his hips, his bulge beginning to twitch and squirm inside of her. She dragged her claws down his shoulders, drawing blood as ripples of pleasure began to slowly outweigh her discomfit.

The pleasure began to overwhelm her, causing her to groan incoherently and spasms to rack her body. Her claws sunk deeper and her breathing grew laboured.

She could feel it building in her gut, causing tremours to shake her limbs. Nepeta shut her eyes and buried her face into Horuss's neck, keening as the pressure increased as their bulges shifted and squirmed within each other.

Finally she jerked upright, all her muscles locking as pleasure roared through her. Her vision blurred white and her voice cracked as she let out a shriek as she climaxed, releasing her genetic material into Horuss's genetic sac, shaking violently. Blearily she was aware of Horuss's hands clenching around her arms and an eruption of cold in her abdomen as he likewise released, a odd stilted whiny-like noise escaping him.

The two remained locked in their embrace as the last vestiges of pleasure melted away, leaving them breathless and exhausted. Slowly Nepeta became aware of how sticky and sweaty she was, but she didn't care. Instead she nuzzled Horuss's throat, purring. The blueblood relaxed his grip on her and responded in kind, his purr so deep she could feel it in her bones.

Slowly she stirred, fairly unwilling to get off Horuss but the pressure in her genetic sac was becoming to get uncomfortable. She groaned lowly as she felt her overly sensitive bulge slip out of Horuss and retreat back behind its sheath, the Sagittarius shuddering as it slid out. 

Likewise Horuss began to ease his own bulge out of her, Nepeta whining as it slowly retreated out of her sore nook, her strained muscles protesting. She couldn't help but groan and slump against Horuss as it finally exited her. 

The two stayed motionless for a few moments before Nepeta exhaled and carefully began to rise from Horuss's lap on shaky legs, placing a hand on the wall for balance. Once upright she sucked in a few shaky breaths and staggered out of Horuss's way as the blueblood slowly began to also lurch upright, just as shaky on his feet as she was.

Horuss looked completely off kilter; bloody bite marks littered his neck, claw marks had shredded his shirt, his long hair was plastered to his back from sweat and blue and green stained the fabric of his pants. Even now he was gripping the hem of his pants with his hands, due to her slicing his belt off earlier. Nepeta knew she probably didn't look any better, with her dress shredded and sweat soaked. Also, she was bare under her dress from hip to knees, due to Horuss's ripping her tights right off. She shrugged. Oh well.

She swiped at the streaks of green and blue on her thighs, huffing in annoyance as it just got smeared along her skin. She stopped as Horuss let out an awkward cough, glancing over at the fidgeting blueblood.

He had one hand braced on his lower stomach, holding his pants up and leaning against the cave wall. With his hair freed he looked uncharacteristically vulnerable and young. He blushed as she stared at him before awkwardly saying, "Miss L- Nepeta, I hope I did not...take any liberties with you?"

Nepeta stared at him for a few more seconds before bursting out into laughter. She slowly managed to control herself, letting out the odd stray giggle before responding, "Oh no Horuss, I'm fine! If I hadn't wanted to pail you, I would've stabbed you."

The blueblood blushed even more heavily as she said that before walking unsteadily towards her. He stopped a few feet in front of her and reached out with his spare hand to grasp hers, "I..then, thank you," he said, so sincerely Nepeta blushed, "Hoofever, we are in a fairly...uncolt position right now...If you could mayhaps meet me at my stable tomorrow we could discuss this further? With a more focused perspective?"

She nodded and squeezed his hand slightly, "That'd be nice. I kinda just want to go back to my hive and have a wash right now. I'll come by tomorrow to talk about...this, okay?"

He smiled, the corners of his blank white eyes crinkling, before he leaned down and very gently kissed her. Nepeta returned the gesture, humming contentedly. Horuss slowly broke the kiss and gave her another shy smile, "Then let us leave this field for greener pastures." 

The blueblood offered his spare arm out to her; Nepeta barely hesitated before wrapping herself around the broad limb, purring. Together they made their way through the winding labyrinth of caves though due to their exhausted and groggy states it was slow going. Nepeta couldn't help but wince occasionally as the journey jostled her genetic sac, the pressure uncomfortable.

Horuss half escorted/half carried her until they reached the edge of one of the eerily silent waterfalls, where one of the many gates leading from LOCAS was located. Once there she carefully extracted her arm from Horuss's, grunting slightly as her muscles burned in protest. 

The blueblood shuffled slightly away from her, looking messy and unkempt, "I believe this gate will return you to your stable. Please come see me tomorrow. Though...I would understand if you choose not to."

Nepeta grinned; he was so awkward and nervous, it was adorable. She nudged his side with her shoulder before saying, "Don't be silly. I'll see you tomorrow and we'll talk more then. I'm not just going to pail-and-dash."

He blushed violently at her lewd phrasing, stammering for a few seconds before blurting out, "Well, I'll see you then. Yes." 

Seeing Horuss standing there, blue-faced, messy hair hanging down to his waist and holding up his pants with one hand caused a violent flurry of pity to erupt in her gut and she had to clench her fists to avoid pouncing on him. She didn't think either of their bodies would appreciate anymore...strenuous activities for the day. So instead she simply leaned up onto her tiptoes and gave him a quick, chaste kiss, feeling him twitch in surprise against her.

"See you later," Nepeta murmured as she pulled away from him. 

She gave Horuss one last smile before turning and stepping through the gate, teleporting back to her own land with a swirl of blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you write sex scenes uuuggghhhh
> 
> Nepeta, you're not supposed to jump the guy's bones on the second date.
> 
> Not that Horuss's minded lol
> 
> I broke up Meulin and Horuss 'cause their diamond was so fucked up, mainly due to Meulin's stupid-as-shit advice. >:|| and Nepeta didn't use any catpuns while talking to Horuss because she didn't want to remind him of Meulin :(
> 
> With that chapter I wanted to emphasis how differently Nepeta treats Equius and Horuss- she's romantically inclined towards both, but her pale and flush interactions differ greatly. Equius it's more "come to my bosom and let us talk and cry over our feels" and with Horuss it's "my poor darling dont be upset lets have sex to sort things out"
> 
> I also figured troll sex, no matter what quadrant, would be fairly blood and rough. Also, when they orgasm, they release their genetic material into their partners genetic sacs, which hold the material until they release it into buckets. The entrance to the genetic sac essentially seals up after sex, so they don't expel the material by accident. They then go and release the material into buckets but pretty much have to masturbate to loosen the muscles enough to eject the genetic material. That way its not mess all over the place and it lessens the chance of wasting the genetic material. So the bulge releases the material, while the nook holds it in, if that makes sense. 
> 
> Helping a partner help discharge the genetic material is considered _extremely_ romantic and 'holy shit tru luv' which is why neither Horuss or Nepeta helped each other out, since they're still pretty on the rocks with their relationship (well, they just need to formally discuss it, rather than frick on the second date lol)
> 
> Yay, quadrants.
> 
> With Nepeta's Rogue of Heart powers I would figure she would know when people felt distress or hurt, since Rogue's steal of the benefit of others; thus she was vaguely aware something was wrong with Horuss but since she wasn't God Tier she couldn't pin-point it, thus just the "something is wrong :((" feeling, since she's in the middle of stealing Horuss's heart for his sake.
> 
> Oh and Nepeta knew the Dancestors handles 'cause Karkat made an angry obligatory memo about it.


	5. Chapter 5

Nepeta had spent the rest of the day lounging in her cave amid her pelts in a content post-coitus doze as she lazily recounted her encounter with Horuss to Pounce. The lusus was pleased with her charge's successful mate-hunt and groomed Nepeta to within an inch of her life while purring so loudly she sounded like a generator.

The Leo thought about getting up several times throughout her grooming session, instead she just squirmed a few times before settling back down, feeling content and...fairly smug. She flexed her claws into the pelts slowly, tail twitching. She briefly thought of trolling her moirail but dismissed the idea just as quickly. Equius made it abundantly clear that any more advancements in her relationship with Horuss was completely up to her. And...well, she made it fairly clear she pitied Horuss pretty badly, considering the spontaneous pailing session that occurred yesterday.

She blushed green, squirming some more in her pile. Behind her, Pounce's purring increased as she resumed grooming Nepeta's wild hair.

Nepeta shifted so she was lying on her side, tail twitching. She would have to meet up with Horuss soon to hopefully discuss and then finalize their matespritship. She paused, wondering it he would turn her down. After all, she did kinda take advantage of him while he was distraught. But no matter how emotionally compromised he was, he was still a troll and if her advances had been completely overboard he would have thrown her off or gotten hostile.

Well, what if he just thought of her as some kind of rebound matesprit? He had broken his heart then his diamond in the span of a week. Maybe he was simply looking for comfort and she had been the nearest available, willing troll.

She frowned, claws digging into the pelts. Pounce picked up on her charge's distress and snuggled closer against her back, nuzzling the nape of her neck. Nepeta gnawed on her lower lip, feeling vaguely distressed. She could easily admit she had a soft spot for the tall, odd Sagittarius but she had no idea what he thought of her.

What if, when they met up later, he would tell her it was just some ugly mistake and kick her out. Would certainly have some tragic poetry to it; the heart hero had her first intimate, romantic experience and it turned out it was just a one off thing and the other troll never wanted to see her again. 

_Oh gods, wouldn't that be simply fantastic,_ Nepeta thought angrily, sitting up as she rubbed at her face with a hand. The urge to cry was nearly overwhelming. 

Pounce put a stop that that, hitting her hard on the back of knees, felling her. Nepeta gave an irate yowl as she fell over, but it broke her from her brooding. Pounce stalked up and placed a paw on Nepeta's chest, directly over her olive-green symbol. The lusus lowered her face until it was looming over Nepeta's; the feline opened both mouths and hissed angrily, glaring at her.

Nepeta avoided her guardian's accusing stare. Her charge was right; she had already claimed her mate in the base, primal way. Now all she had to do was coax him into her quadrant to make it official. Lying about crying blithely over 'what might be's like some weak-willed prey was _not_ what Pounce had raised her to be.

Pounce kept her pinned for a few more moments before she gave a final, warning growl and released her, prowling purposely over to the metal shipping wall. The white feline pawed at the empty matespritship space and gave a final, stern yowl.

Nepeta growled in agreement; now was the time to go get her matesprit.

She briefly thought about changing into one of the dresses Kanaya gave her however she ultimately dismissed the idea. Instead she clothed herself in her ordinary attire with her comfortable pants, shirt and olive-green hunting coat. She ran a hand through the snarls of her hair, tail twitching nervously. Pounce rubbed up against her leg, purring reassuringly at the troll. Nepeta nodded. She flexed her hunting claws out, studying the sharp metal for a long moment. She was a predator, a huntress. It took an irate, berserk clown to finally beat the life out of her. She could do this...Hopefully.

The Leo flexed her hands; Her stomach felt as if it was filled with flutterbeasts and her muscles still felt tense, as if she was about to go on a challenging hunt. With a final glance at Pounce -who gazed levelly back at her- Nepeta turned on her heel and left her cave, her feet crunching on the millions of tiny cubes littering her land as she started out at a steady pace.

She traversed the dreambubbles, carefully making her way across chasms, blood-filled beaches and the giant, winding branches of the dream trees. Nepeta carefully prowled along one of the tallest branches, following it as it twisted down through the trees to a massive hive carved out of a mountainside. Giant statues of hoofbeasts reared up on plinths near the beginning of the stairs leading to the entrance. Must be the place.

Nepeta sprang from the branch, landing nimbly on all fours. She stood upright, giving the hive the once over; giant, sturdy stone fortresses, hoofbeasts and the Sagittarius insignia decorating the smooth stone above the door. 

_Zahhak's certainly like their architecture to be a cut of the same pelt,_ Nepeta thought in amusement as she began to climb the stairs. She never really understood the whole hoofbeast thing with the two bluebloods; to her, they tasted just the same as any other beast she hunted. They weren't really anything special.

She paused before the massive door, carved from some shiny, dark wood. Taking a calming breath, so she reached up and rapped the door with the door knocker (which looked suspiciously like a musclebeast arm) a few times. She then waited nervously, her tail curling around her.

Nepeta didn't have to wait long; her ears perked at the sound of footsteps. She forced herself to stop fidgeting as the door swung inwards, revealing Horuss.

He was clad in his customary suit and helmet, his hair tied up. The biggest thing she noticed, however, was the lack of a smile on his face. Instead his features were lax and neutral. He smiled slightly when he saw her and shifted to the side, gesturing for her to come in.

The tall Sagittarius lead her down a broad hallway. Numerous portraits of musclebeasts and hoofbeasts adored the walls; Nepeta barely batted an eye. She was used to this kind of art appreciation due to Equius. Horuss did show a stronger inclination towards hoofbeasts, however, including an absolutely gigantic robotic one in the center of the hall, posing in the middle of a rear, hooves flailing. She couldn't help but eye up the hoofbeast with a predators gaze; the thing stood nearly ten times her height and its hooves looked like it could crush her skull like a squeakbeast's.

"You have good taste," Horuss said, his voice shaking slightly- either from nervousness of giddy approval she couldn't tell- as he gave a fond look at the massive robot as he led her around the statue, "I created that during my first enlightenment to my true hoofbeast nature. Alas, my physical form continues to betray my true form."

Instead of disgust or amusement, pity bubbled to life in her gut as she followed the blueblood down the hall. It was so _pathetic_ he was under the impression he was a hoofbeast; it made her want to curl around him and ravage him a bit. Maybe claw up his back and bite his throat then carefully lick the wounds-

Horuss awkwardly clearing his throat snapped her out of her nightdream; belatedly Nepeta realised she had started purring throatily during her rather vivid fantasy. She coughed in an effort to stop it, blushing green. 

"...Ah, please, we can nicker in here," Horuss said, blue staining the visible portions of his face. He turned quickly and went through an archway to a lavish respiteblock. Nepeta followed after him, still green in the face. 

Horuss sat down at the table, gesturing for her to take a seat across from him. She sat on her haunches on a chair, resting her hands on the marble table. She glanced around the respiteblock, bemused by the sheer lavishness of the room. Even Equius's high-and-mighty blueblood hive was far more practical and basic. Half the things in the room, including more portraits, statues and carvings, were simply for aesthetic purposes with no apparent practical purpose. Even the chair she was sitting on was engraved with tiny images of hoofbeasts and other animals. The whole thing just confused Nepeta; it just seemed a complete waste of resources. 

_Probably just a Beforus thing,_ she thought, tracing a claw across the elaborate patterns on the table. She peeked a glance at Horuss, who was fiddling with the cuffs of his jacket and sweating nervously. She couldn't see his eyes due to the mirrored lenses of his helmet so she wasn't sure if he was looking at her or not. Judging from the way he was chewing on his lip and shifting anxiously though, she doubted it. Flicking her tail she shifted on the chair, waiting for him to speak.

"...You wanted to talk?" Nepeta prompted him gently after a long stretch of uncomfortable silence finally forced her to speak first out of sheer awkwardness.

"Oh yes, um, you see," He started haltingly, "I am glad you arrived at my stable in a brushque manner, for it permits more time to um, discuss our current...predicament."

"You mean what happened yesterday?"

A sharp noise rang through the air as Horuss's fingers created cracks in the marble tabletop, "Yes. Usually I would never be so...forward. Hoofever I was greatly distressed." 

Nepeta's white eyes narrowed slightly, "So you what, want to furget it? Ask me to nefur speak of it?" She struggled to keep the knee-jerk anger from her voice.

"I- is that what you request?" Horuss asked, sweat sliding down his jaw, "I will respect your wishes, if that is what you decided to trot with."

Nepeta shifted in her seat, frowning slightly as she studied Horuss's face; he was nervous and an odd twitchiness to his frame as if he was about to bolt at a moments notice. Her anger vanished as she realised she was fairly sure he wouldn't refuse a request to formally initiate a matesprit with her; his panicked behaviour was just due to his awkwardness and uncertainty.

Well fine. If he wanted her to take the first step then she would. She never backed down from a fight and Pounce had repeatedly insisted that males of a species tend to be thick headed and fumbling when it came to such issues.

Time to take the initiative.

Fluidly Nepeta stood, her shoulders straight and expression determined as she slowly prowled around the table, tail curling as she stalked closer to the seated blueblood. She noted with some amusement that he started to sweat and fidget even more as she got closer to him. She carefully sidled around the marble slab, between the gap between the table and Horuss before promptly sitting in his lap, the edge of the table pressing against the small of her back with her hands resting on the Sagittarius's shoulders.

Horuss twitched under her before he tentatively settled his hands on her hips. Nepeta shifted, leaning forward so she was essentially draped over his chest, head buried into the side of his neck and purring as she realised her scent was still clinging to Horuss from yesterday.

Nepeta was bemused -and disturbed- at Horuss's willingness to let her so near his throat. Though he had his usual suit on, of which a thick band of leather surrounded his neck, she could still severely injure him if she attempted to rip his throat out.

 _Stupid, soft, trusting, pitiful blueblood,_ a more feral part of her mind hissed. However she was also incredibly aware that Horuss could crush her hipbones if he decided to clench his hands. At the moment he was just idly rubbing at her sides, his hands resting between her hunting overcoat and black shirt.

She nosed at his neck before rubbing the side of her face against his, feeling her horn clink against the buckles on his helmet. This close she could feel the catch of his breath as she pressed herself even closer to him, pressing her knees against his side as she purred lowly. She remained plastered against Horuss, breathing in his thick scent of oil, metal and leather. Nepeta sniffed deeply, curious; He had another smell clinging to him, one she'd never smelled on a troll before. A clean, fresh, utterly _bloodless_ scent. 

Every troll she met before had an underlying bloody scent wrapped around them, from Vriska and Eridan to Karkat and Tavros. Even Equius had the harsh, copper undertone of blood constantly clinging to him, like a faint, overlaying coat.

Horuss however smelled clean... _Innocent._

She pulled away from him, bafflement on her features. Yesterday she was too...emotional and wild to notice the smell. But now it was like getting a faceful of cold water.

"Horuss, have you ever killed anyone?" 

"N-No," he stammered out uncertainly, clearly caught off guard by her blurted-out question.

"Have any of your friends killed anyone?"

"...That irate rustblood woolbeast Megido killed myself and Her Harness during an uncolt tantrum. However other than that none of my herd indulged in vicious nickering."

Nepeta frowned, "Surely you did so befure Sgrub? You are a blueblood."

Horuss titled his head slightly, his dark lips curling, "No, I have not raised my hooves."

"But what about your highblood rage issues? Surely Kurloz and Cronus and even Aranea tried to harm the rest of you at some point."

"Highblood rage issues?"

Nepeta leaned back, dull shock on her face. That...that she couldn't of heard him right. He probably just misheard her.

"Well...every highblood has some real anger purroblems. Even just breaking a glass is enough to send Equius into a violent furry and I sometimes have to restrain him for a good papping. Same with Mister Ampuura and Whiska. It's why they get so mad and murderous sometimes. Are you...are you saying you don't have that? _None_ of you have that?"

"...Yes?"

Well. That just. That explained _a lot._ She had always assumed they had rage issues- not to the extent her friends had it, but they would've still had the basic fury problems and psychosis of Highbloods.

No rage problems. Culling meant coddle. No drones. No executioners. No massacre fields. No brutality to keep lowbloods beaten down. By the Condesce's bling, no wonder the poor things were utterly _flailing_ during Sgrub and failed so spectacularly.

She gnawed on her lip as her mind raced in circles like a panicked pack of minibeasts even her bloodpusher nearly overloaded from the sheer pity she was feeling. Belated she noticed Horuss's extremely uncomfortable expression and the sweat dripping off his face, staining Nepeta's green coat. Oh right, she had just been talking about violence and death and genetic fury. Unsettling stuff.

Quickly she cocked her head to the side, deliberately putting on her best 'adorable confused meowbeast' face.

"Um, sorry! I'm just a bit curious about our difurerent worlds. I didn't mean to bring up all the erm death that happened. But anyway..." She shifted her hands, playing with the metal buttons on the front of his suit, "We were talking about what happened yesterday...?"

Instantly the confusion vanished from his face, face going a florid blue, "Yes, that...incident."

"Do you regret it?"

Horuss was silent for a long while at her question, his ears curled down, before he finally answered, "...I regret the circumstances."

Nepeta unconsciously relaxed against Horuss after his nervous admission, her dark lips curving into a smile, "Well, do you want to maybe...try it in better circumstances?" 

Horuss looked so lost Nepeta had to stop herself from giggling. Carefully she reached out and started to try and tug at the latches around his goggles so she could look him in the eyes. She growled in irritation at the ridiculous amount of buckles and buttons the damn thing had and was about to shred it with her claws in anger when Horuss reached up undid them for her. With that she pushed up his goggles, allowing her to look directly into his blank, white eyes.

"How about I ask you formally, Horuss Zahhak," Nepeta said, letting herself drawl out his full name, "Do you want to be Flush with me? Will you be my matesprit?"

An odd squeaking noise escaped the blueblood, his eyes widening. Nepeta watched him, bemused; she had no idea why he was so shocked and...scandalised. To her it was fairly obvious this was the way the conversation was going to go.

 _Maybe he's not used to lowbloods actually speaking their inferior minds to him..._ a vicious part of her mind jeered; Nepeta snarled it down. Now wasn't the time to go stupid from self-doubt. Instead she waited, hands resting on the blueblood's shoulders as she quietly awaited his response.

Horuss licked his lips nervously before he tentatively leaned forward, resting his forehead against Nepeta's. She eased herself further against him and rubbed her nose against his.

"Yes. I will be mates with you."

 _Mates._ Her hivebrain purred in intense pleasure and Nepeta smiled before she leaned in and gave Horuss a deep kiss, sliding her lips along his and slipping her tongue into his mouth. He carefully reciprocated, a hand reaching up to tangle in her hair as his other hand tugged her hips closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against his broad chest.

The two remained kissing for a long while, slow and languorous. Eventually they eased away from one another, lips wet. Horuss was blushing and Nepeta purred contentedly.

"Well, I'm glad we got that all cleared up," she said teasingly, "I was afuraid we would have to keep our... _liaisons_ a secret."

"Er, well now there is no need to undergo such underhoofed depiction," Horuss managed to blush an even deeper shade of blue, "After all, it is not unconscionable for a stallion to indulge in erm vigorous actives with his mare."

Nepeta grinned slyly at that, "So you are already thinking about a repeat of yesterday?"

Horuss's whole face blanched, an utterly scandalized expression appearing, "I- that's is an utterly vulgar suggestion!"

"How is it vulgar? We pailed each other yesterday-"

The strangled noise that came from the Sagittarius and he looked like he was violently choking on something. Nepeta started giggling like mad; it seems the Zahhak's both had the 'scandlised by the basic truth' mentality. She decided to see if he could get anymore blue in the face and slowly leaned forward, her nose mere millimeters from Horuss's. This close, she could see the barely darker white part of his pupils, the thin lines of blue sweat sliding past the strong arch of his nose, the wetness of his lips.

"Um well we should do this else..." Horuss trailed off, flustered and looking vaguely panicked.

She kissed him, short and sweet, which put a stop to his nonsensical babbling. Nepeta trailed her hands up his neck, face, the sides of his goggles, before she carefully rubbed the pads of her fingers along the soft skin of his hornbed. 

Horuss let out a high pitched neigh-like noise as he jerked upright, jumping right out of his seat, causing Nepeta to yelp and wrap her legs around Horuss's hips to avoid being knocked over. It also had the consequence of making her instinctively grabbing a hold of his horns, right at the base. His startled cry is cut off as he stumbles against the table, catching his ankle around one of the legs and causing to both go crashing onto the floor in a groaning heap.

Nepeta gave a grunt as she rolled off Horuss's chest even as the blueblood sat up from where he'd fallen onto his back on the floor. 

"My apologies," Horuss muttered sheepishly. He rubbed at the back of his head before carefully getting back up his feet. Stooping slightly he offered a hand to the Leo; She smiled and accepted the assistance. 

"No, it's alright," She said, tail twitching as Horuss effortlessly pulled her back up to her feet. Nepeta had a few bumps and bruises from the impact with the table and fall but nothing particularly painful. She's had worse. Instead she leaned up on tip-toes and gave him another quick kiss before murmuring in his ear, "Well, how about we take it somewhere more comfurtable?"

Horuss swallowed audibly, white eyes widening before responding in a hoarse voice, "Well, if you so wish, we could retire to a more appropriate stable for mat- wait, no, that sounds terrible-" 

Nepeta let out a soft laugh at that, even as Horuss stammered out apologies. 

"Oh _hush_ , it's purrfectly fine. We're matesprits now, aren't we? It would be a shame not to celebrate, wouldn't it?"

"Well, if that is what my mate wants, I shall not be...unwilling," He said, still blushing furiously but now starting to gently guide her from the room, "The appropriate stables are just through this paddock, if you would...?"

Nepeta purred, eagerly rubbing herself up against his side as he led her back out the room, across the hall and through a large, marble door inlaid with dozens of sculpted hoofbeasts. Horuss easily pushed open the gigantic five-meter tall slab that looked as if it was half a damn mountain of sheer rock. He barely went through the doorway before Nepeta pushed herself back up against his side, running her hands along his chest, nibbling at his ear and breathing hotly along his jaw.

He attempted to steer her up the stairs with a hand gently pressing against the small of her back but Nepeta ignored it, nipping at his ear, drawing blood and then half climbing up his side. She growled in anticipation as she caught the heady scent of arousal and Horuss abruptly turned and yanked her clean off her feet, kissing her so powerfully it sucked the breath from her lungs.

Eagerly she wrapped her arms around his neck, seizing a hold of buckles on his helmet to keep herself upright. She licked at his lips and groaned as she rubbed up against him, a low pulse beginning to throb between her legs as she enthusiastically kissed Horuss. Eventually he managed to break free of the kiss, breathing heavily, lips wet with saliva. Nepeta hungrily eyed his mouth, licking her own lips at the smell of arousal wafting off from him. 

The Sagittarius exhaled heavily, sweat dripping from his chin and cheeks flushed before he managed to blurt out, "We should- we should trot upstairs to proper-"

Nepeta cut him off with another kiss, racking her claws along his sides, deliberately groping for his grub scars. The noise he let out when she successfully found one caused another hot flush of arousal to roll down her spine. She nipped at his lips and shifted so she was pressed up against his chest, slipping a leg between his thighs to grind it up against his groin.

He gasped, a shudder wracking his frame before he grabbed Nepeta and crushed her up against him, shamelessly rutting against her. She growled and clawed at his clothed shoulders then abruptly yelped when sharp teeth sank into the side of her neck.

Instantly Horuss pulled back, teeth stained with tiny pricks of green, horror on his face, "Oh gosh, I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lame you-"

 _"Shut up and do it again."_ The vicious snarl, coupled by her wild expression, caused an utterly shocked expression to cross his face before it was replaced with a feral hunger. Then he sank his teeth back into her throat, even as he tore her jacket off with his hands. 

Nepeta keened as pain throbbed at her throat before it merged with a vicious, animalistic pleasure. She clawed at his back, her sharp nails ripping through the thick material. Horuss snarled against her throat as he stumbled forward when she tore thin scratches through the skin along his spine. Moaning incoherently she tipped her head back, offering more of her throat as her hands slid up from his shoulders and started to groped at his helmet, the buckles cold against her hands.

Horuss staggered backwards then abruptly stumbled against the stairs, tripping over with a yelp. Nepeta let out a shriek as she toppled over backwards, still clinging to the blueblood. Luckily he managed to throw out his arms, catching himself on the utter stairs while knees made cracks in the stone floor from the impact. Nepeta blinked, some of her arousal vanishing from the shock, but she was unharmed; Horuss was leaning over her on his hands and knees, arms braced on the stairs, knees resting on the floor. She glanced at up his frozen expression before slowly unwrapping her limbs from their stranglehold on the blueblood. She crooned, low and sweet, and nuzzled at his face even as the straps of his helmet rubbed against her cheeks.

Slowly Horuss's expression of stilted panic faded and and he gingerly began to return her nuzzles, a low, deep rumble emanating from his chest. She rubbed at his shoulders, running her fingers along the shallow scratches through the tears in his shirt and nipping at his jawline, licking at the sweat dotting the skin-covered bone. Horuss lowered his head and began to lave at the bite on her throat, his tongue licking away the beads of blood and numbing the pain.

Nepeta felt a deep, primal satisfaction at his ministrations; now they had both marked each other in passion, right along the throat, the most vulnerable place of any creature. She purred throatily in his ear, her nook wet, her bulge twitching in anticipation.

Eagerly she wrapped her legs around his waist even as she started to tug at the long tail of his hair, wanting to run her hands through it. With a growl she flexed her wrist, unsheathing her long battle claws and severed the thick band holding back his hair. She retracted the blue blades with barely a thought and seized a handful of the Sagittarius's waist-length hair, tugging on the thick strands and kissing him. He returned the kiss with gusto, the taste of blood still on his tongue as he slid it against hers.

Nepeta groaned into Horuss's mouth, rutting her hips against his. He shifted, resting his forearm along the length of one of the stairs with Nepeta's head resting on it and with his other arm he gripped a hold of her left knee, claws gripping into the loose fabric.

He growled as she tugged hard at his hair, his claws shredding through her trousers and leaving light scraps on her knee. The blueblood licked at her lips a few more times before breaking the kiss and trailing his lips along her cheek bones, sharp teeth just shy of breaking the skin. 

Gasping, Nepeta slid her hands along Horuss's scalp, brushing past the straps of his helmet before finding his horns; he let out a deep moan as she dragged the pad of her fingers around the base of his horns. With a deep grunt he jerked his hips firmly against hers, nearly pressing her flat against the stairs, the edges digging into her back. Eagerly she began to rock back against him, rutting against the swelling bulge in his pants and causing them both to gasp.

Then a faint crashing and rampant swearing caused them both to freeze up, Horuss with his face buried in her neck, Nepeta with her legs and arms firmly wrapped around the broad blueblood's frame.

"Fucking DAMNIT!" screeched a horribly familiar voice, getting louder with every word, "Where the fuck are you, sweaty douchebag number two? Hiding behind some of this fucking horrific, ganderbulb-blinding, hideous porn you stupidly cause 'art' no fucking doubt-"

Karkat's furious rant choked off suddenly and through the haze of her arousal Nepeta was vaguely aware of a shadow in the massive archway. Horuss remained frozen on top of her, face pressed against her neck, his entire body stock still. Nepeta managed to twist her head around to the side, struggling to focus on the horror-stricken troll standing in the doorway. She drunkenly dragged one of her hands from Horuss's hair and waved it in Karkat's general direction, slurring out, "Karkat can, can this meowbe wait...?"

Said troll was still standing rock-still, with an expression of utter horror engraved on his face; even as Nepeta stared blearily at him as his eyes, still coloured and alive, went severely wall-eyed and a deranged, high-pitched squeaking noise erupted from his throat.

Then with a violent movement he turned and ran headfirst into the door frame with a loud _crack_. Cursing violently and holding his bloodied nose, Karkat stumbled off into the hall, his panicked footsteps slowly fading as he absconded.

For a long while Nepeta and Horuss remained frozen on the ground before Nepeta murmured, "Well...the meowbeast is out of the bag isn't it'?"

Horuss slowly moved his face from where it was buried in her throat and glanced down at her; his entire face was frozen in a deep frown of mortification, eyes wide and panicked.

Pity and concern warred in her gut against arousal and lust and she quickly traced his stern features with a hand, reaching up and planting a soft kiss on his lips even as she said, "Hey, _hey_ , relax, okay? I don't care who knows."

Some of the severity vanished from Horuss's face, though embarrassment was still heavily prominent, "The mutant saw us in a compromised stance, this is-"

"Oh who cares?!" Her suddenly exclamation caused Horuss to jerk against her, blinking rapidly, "I really don't give a yiff if they know! Are you really so ashamed of me?"

"Neigh, that is not what-"

"Then what? It's just _Karkat_ , worse he'll do is yowl and swear later on, but it's his fault anyway! Now get back down here and kiss me," She snarled, claws lightly digging into his face.

His face was torn, but she could still smell the arousal on him; even Karkat's loud, unexpected appearance didn't dampen that. Instead of protesting he leaned down and did as she ordered, kissing her deeply. She clung to him, sliding her tongue against his and breathing heavily though her nose.

With a low grunt Horuss started to claw at her pants, leaving long scratches in the fabric. Nepeta squirmed under him, her nook wet and aching. She released his hair and twisted around awkwardly until she managed to shove her pants down to her knees and kicking them off with a grunt. She moaned as the cool air brushed against the heated lips of her nook, her bulge sliding free and groping at his belt, leaving trails of green genetic material. Nepeta shifted and rutting up against the blueblood, legs loosely clasped around his hips. Horuss barely flinched, reading down and undoing his belt with his spare hand. Nepeta moaned as his hand brushed along her sensitive bulge, the blueblood looping the thin tendril around his fingers a few times, touch gentle. 

She slumped back against the stairs, head resting on his forearm and hips bucking helpless up into his careful touch as she whined helplessly. Horuss nuzzled her temple, a deep purr emanating from his chest, before he removed his fingers from her bulge and deftly removed his belt, flinging it off to the side. 

The two bulges intertwined, one olive green and one dark blue, sliding and writhing against one another. Nepeta cried out and sunk her claws into Horuss's shoulders, clinging to him. She arched up against him and then wrapped her legs firmly around his hips, even as Horuss used his spare arm to press her flush up against him.

Nepeta gasped, arching her spine as his thick bulge slid between the wet, puffy folds of her nook, the ridged brushing against her sensitive inner walls. She keened, head slumping back against Horuss's arm as she squirmed, hearing the blueblood's hash pants in her ear.

Slowly the ache subsided as her body adjusted to his girth and with a low coo from her the long tendril penetrating her began to undulate, causing her to moan. She was vaguely aware of her own bulge slithering downwards and jerked as wet, coldness enveloped the length. Horuss let out a low groan and started to thrust roughly against her, his bulge twisting deep within her nook, causing her own bulge to spasm in response.

Groaning, Nepeta leaned back, throat exposed; Horuss started to mouth along the soft flesh, leaving trails of drool. They start at an uncoordinated pace, Horuss grunting in irritation as his horns hit the stairs and Nepeta hissing and clawing at his back. However he wraps his forearm around her back and presses himself harder against her and began to thrust into her at a steady pace, causing her to start chirping incoherently.

Nepeta was barely aware of anything besides the deep pulse of the bulge squirming inside her, of her own thrashing against the cool inner warms of the blueblood rutting against her. Thin rivulets of green and blue began to stain her naked thighs, genetic material sliding down her skin every time Horuss pulled his bulge out slightly, only to thrust it back in with a growl. She clung to him, claws drawing blood along his back, her nook periodically clenching around his bulge.

Steadily a pressure began to build up in her abdomen, causing her to thrust helplessly back against Horuss, her bulge squirming against a spot in his nook which caused him to snarl loudly in surprise. She clawed at his spine before sinking her teeth into his ear and clenching her nook around his bulge. He jerked back and bit her throat, hard enough to break skin and thrust so deeply into her nook she saw stars and released.

Her body went ridged, her cry choked off in her throat as she released, pumping her material within her matesprit, filling up his genetic sac with thick olive green. As she orgasmed, her nook clenched hard around Horuss's bulge, causing him to shake violently and release as well, spilling his own cold blue deep inside her. 

With that he slumped over, nearly crushing her against the stairs and his body, gasping harshly in her ear. Nepeta felt light-headed as she lay dazed and compliant underneath him. She ached all over but on the whole felt content and safe.

Slowly she started to purr brokenly, idly running her hands along Horuss's head, sliding her hands through his sweat-soaked hair and gently caressing his horns.

Gingerly Horuss managed to ease his head up from where it was buried in the junction of her throat and shoulder, pausing to gently kiss at the bite marks he'd left. Carefully the Sagittarius shifted so he was blocking either side of her with his arms, staring at her levelly. Nepeta purred at him, amused at seeing the blueblood so sweaty and debauched.

She tugged at his long hair and pulled him down for a long, tender kiss. Exhaustion made it a lot more sloppy than usual and when they parted both their lips were wet with saliva. The two regarded each other for a long while before Nepeta reached up and gave him a softer, more chaste kiss and murmuring against his lips,

"Flush fur you."

"And I for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnit Karkat, learn to fucking knock.
> 
> He was gonna ask Horuss some tech shit for Jade (since Horuss has been around for like a million fucking sweeps and thus knows a shitload more about tech than Equius) and because he can find the dreambubbles a lot easier than her and he...erm didn't bother to knock. Hence the "OH GOD MY FUCKIN EYSNSDFL" lmao poor karkles
> 
> I figured if I was gonna do a fanfic about a rarepair I'd make them frick at least twice >:| I still can't write porn, but I figured the only way to get good at it is to practice. Also, I was spending way too long fucking around with this chapter so have it in its ugly glory UGH
> 
> Horuss has never really been...aggressively Alternian pursued before lol Even with Rufioh it was sweeps of fucking about and being stupid and coy with each other before it went wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, which is why he kept on getting caught off guard by Nepeta being so forceful and direct. And Nepeta is a bit more...feral, in a lot of her behaviour, since she lived in a cave and has a lot more animalistic attitudes than the other trolls. Hence her going "hell yeah" with the biting thing and generally behaving a lot more feral. Also, living in a 'fuck or die' society makes you a little more... _quick_ to seal the deal.


	6. Chapter 6

  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has opened memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has invited  carcinoGeneticist [CG1] apocalypseArisen [AA1] adiosToreador [AT1] twinArmageddons [TA1] grimAuxiliatrix [GA1] gallowsCalibrator [GC1] arachnidsGrip [AG1] centaursTesticle [CT1] caligulasAquarium [CA1] and  cuttlefishCuller [CC1] to the memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has invited  crustaceaGenealogy [CG2] akaAshita [AA2] apisTotemo [AT2] topgunAphasia [TA2] agoutiCeridwen [AC2] graylinAureola [GA2] grindCaballerial [GC2] araneidaeGossamer [AG2] chasmThoroughbred [CT2] temperedCapra [TC2] cronusAmpora [CA2] and  cephalopodConqueror [CC2] to the memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has invited  ectoBiologist [EB] gardenGnostic [GG] turntechGodhead [TG] and  tentacleTherapist [TT] to the memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 *the huntress slinks through the grass, cautiously appuroaching!*   
AC1: :33 *she pounces upon a tea pot full of chameowmile tea and curls her tail around her*  
AC1: :33 *ac then carefully paints a bright red heart on the pot signalling that shes found a mate!*  
GC1:>8O  
GC1: *GC L4NDS 1N FRONT OF 4C 4ND C4R3FULLY FOLDS H3R W1NGS B3FOR3 T4PP1NG ON TH3 POT W1TH 4 M1GHTY T4LON*  
GC1: *SH3 SN1FFS 4T 4C'S DR4WN HE4RT 4ND C4N SM3LL TH3 1NTOX1C4T1NG CR1MSON OF FR3SH FLUSH P1TY*  
AC1: *the huntress curls around her pot and places a paw on the heart and purrs happily!*  
GC1: *TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON DO3S 4 M1GHTY 4ND MAJ3ST1C D4NC3 1N FRONT OF 4C OV3R F1ND1NG 4 M4T3SPR1T!*  
GC1: *1T W4S V3RY M1GHTY*  
AG1: Uggggggggh, role play is such a wiggler pastime!  
GC1: >:[  
AC1: :33 *ac hisses!!*  
AC1: :33 its actually fun! especially since we dont just kill everyone ://  
AC1: Wow and here I thought I was going to drop 8y and wish my friend the 8est with her new quadrant!  
GC1: 1 C4N SM3LL THOS3 L13S FROM H3R3!  
GG: would you two stop it???  
GG: anyway, you got a boyfriend nepeta?? :DDD  
AC1: :33 *ac purrs happily!*  
AG1: :33 yes!! i have officially filled in my flush quadrant!  
TT: Congratulations.   
GA1: Indeed  
GA1: I Am Glad Your Dates Turned Out So Successful  
AG1: D8s? How come I never heard of this!  
GA1: Because Nepeta Requested I Keep Quiet In Case Her Pursuit Wasn't Fruitful   
AC1: :33 yes!  
AC1: :33 and the dresses were really purrty!!  
AC1: :33 i especially liked the green one :))  
GG: Ooh we should do a dress exchange some time :D  
EB: hey what's going on here?  
EB: oh another quadrant! ahaha they're all getting filled even if the people in them are dead  
EB: um deadish?  
TT: Yes, well it seems the after life doesn't have the usual romantic restrictions.  
TC2: :o)  
EB: anyway, congrats nepeta! hope you're happy with whoever it is!  
AC1: :33 *the huntress wiggles happily!*  
GA2: This is wo+nderful news, Nepeta.  
GA2: I wish yo+u many sweeps o+f happiness.  
GA2: May I inquire as to+ who+ the mystery tro+ll is?  
AC1: *acs ears shoot up realizing shes forgotten to introduce her new mate!*  
AA1: you have a matesprit? good for you nepeta! :)  
AA1: im glad you found some good after everything  
AC1: :33 *ac nods sadly and presses her paws more firmly against the heart!*  
AA1: anyway just dropped by to say good luck and congrats!  
AA1: ta!  
  
apocalypseArisen [AA1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AT1: wELL,,, tHATS gOOD nEWS }:)   
AT1: iS,,, iT aNYONE wE kNOW?  
AG1: Ugh, of course it is someone we know toreadork!  
TG: fuck off serket  
AG1: Why don't you try and make me? ::::)  
EG: vriska stop it!  
EG: nepeta's here to announce something really nice so stop trying to ruin it by being mean!  
AG1: fiiiiiiiine!  
CC2: sup  
GA2: Hello+ Meenah.  
TC2: :o)  
CC2: yo lil leijon  
CC2: you reel in someone?  
AC1: :33 yes!!!  
AC1: :33 *the huntress vows to hold on to this mate with sharp teeth and claws!*  
CC2: well shit gimme the gos  
CC2: any glubber i know?  
TA1: 0h great m0re r0mance shit  
CG1: FUCK YOU, BULGEMUNCH. ROMANCE IS STILL JUST AS FUCKING IMPORTANT AS EVERYTHING ELSE.  
TA1: are you seri0us?  
TA1: because getting a quadrant filled is just as imp0rtant as the fucking giant m0nster killing gh0sts  
GG: shut up sollux!  
GG: yeah everything is going to shit but that just means good news is even better!!  
AC2: (^・o・^) OMGOMGOMGOMGOMOG!!!!!!!!!  
TG: what the fuck   
AC2: (=｀ω’=) A SUCCESSFUL SHIPPING! WHO IS IT?????????  
TA1: 0h g0d  
AC1: :33 *the huntress purrs happily and hisses at all the neigh sayers!*  
CG1: WAS THAT A FUCKING HOOFBEAST PUN?  
AG2: Oh this is wonderful news!  
AG2: Is it someone I know? How did you two meet? What were you two wearing when you went on a first date? Who made the first move?  
CC2: shit serk, hold your glubbin seahorses  
CA1: wwhats going on  
AT1: nEPETA hAS a mATESPRIT  
CA1: are you serious  
GC1: H3Y, N3P3T4 TOT4LLY D3S3RV3S ON3.  
GC1: *TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON 4CKNOWL3DG3S TH3 4DOR4BL3N3SS OF TH3 T1NY HUNTR3SS*  
GC1: >:]  
AC1: :33 *the huntress purrs happily at the praise!*  
TC2: :o)  
CA1: so are you gonna tell us wwho it is  
AC1: :33 of course i am!  
AC1: :33 i mean they  
AA2: これは、オンラインポルノチャットルームです  
CC2: oh shit its this nutty bitch  
AG2: Meenah!  
AA2: こっちに来て、私のおっぱいの魚の女性に触れる  
CC2: you want to do what?  
CC2: shit your accent is even more fuckin weird on here  
AA2: 私の膨らみは同じくらいの厚さである  
TA1: fuck this I'm getting 0ff l00ney express   
TA1: but yeah g00d f0r y0u nepeta even th0ugh I really d0nt give a shit  
  
twinArmageddons [TA1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 um thanks i guess? :||  
CG1: IGNORE THAT DUMBASS.  
CG1: HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW INTEGRATED ROMANCE IS.  
CC2: and im shore you do shouty 38D  
CG1: MEENAH USES SARCASM. IT DOES JACK SHIT.  
CC2: 38?  
TT: 38 what?  
CC2: shell, that was suppose to be a confused face 38(  
CT1: D--> Ah, so you have decided to officially announce your matespritship  
AC1: :33 *ac nuzzles her meowrail!*  
AG1: Well, who the fuck is it then????????  
AG2: Vriska, don't 8e so impatient! Nepeta will tell us all a8out it when she is good and ready. Any storyteller knows that atmosphere is one of the most important aspects of a retelling of a tale and anticipation can certainly add to it!  
CC1: 38D  
CC1: 38D  
CC1: YOU'V --E GOT A MAT--ESPRIT!  
CC1: T)(is is WOND--ERFUL!  
TC2: :o)  
CC2: yeah its pretty fuckin ace  
AA2: でも、猫の女の子発見の愛を参照してください。  
CC2: youre gonna do what?  
AA2: なぜ？あなたが真実を聞くことを好きではないのですか？  
CC2: ugh stop whaling on lil leijons mood  
AC2: └(=^‥^=)┐YEAH! WHO IS IT SO I CAN UPDATE MY WALL?????????  
CA1: fuck this screamin   
  
caligulasAquarium [CA1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GG: yeah whatever :/  
GG: anyway come on nepeta! tell us who it is! :DD  
CT1: D--> Stop nagging my moiriail  
GG: im not nagging her! i just wanna know who her new boyfriend is!  
TT: Or girlfriend.  
GG: oh yeah or girlfriend!  
TC2: :o)  
GA1: Well I For One Want To Know Simply Because I Wish To Congratulate The New Couple  
CG2: C9ngratulating a c9uple implies that the relati9nship was simply caused via luck 9r s9me external s9urce and diminish the tw9 individuals eff9rts t9 esta6lish their new relati9nship. Further m9re the pu6lic ann9uncement 9f such a relati9nship, especially flush, may 6e a trigger f9r th9se wh9 are n9t inv9lved in a flush quadrant. It can even cause excessive stress and triggers in th9se wh9 have n9 quadrants at all and make them feel excluded 9r targeted 6ue t9 y9u flaunting y9ur recently acquired flush quadrant.  
CG2: #quadrants #R9manic pursuits #c9ngratulati9ns #flaunting flush #Pub6ic displays 9f affecti9n  
CC2: 38(  
CG2: Als9 the extensive h9unding - such a term can 6e pr96lematic f9r any canine inclined tr9lls here- 9f the newly esta6lished c9uple c9uld cause additi9nal strain 9n their fragile new relati9nship and c9uld p9tentially 6reak it up 9r create stress. All 9f these c9uld result in the creati9n 9f triggers, 9r indeed setting them 9ff, due t9 the careless 6ehavi9ur of many 9f y9u present. Even the entire premise 9f flush affecti9n c9uld c9me acr9ss as a triggering experience, such as h9lding pity f9r an9ther tr9ll 6ased up9n their vari9us failings which s9me h9w translated int9 flush 9r pale affecti9n. Further m9re, the very naming 9f these quadrants c9uld p9tentially trigger some9ne namely due t9 the negative c9nn9tati9ns 9r stere9types within the r9mantic diam9nd 9r heart quadrants. Even these tw9 slang terms c9uld inspire triggers 9r cause undue mental stress within tr9lls in pr9ximity wh9 d9 n9 have any9ne within th9se quadrants.  
CG2: #Negative quadrants #w99f6east slurs #Diam9nd and heart quadrants #Red and pale c9l9uration  
AC1: :33 *hisses*  
EB: ummm  
TG: what the fuck is happening  
TG: shit rose, psychoanalyze karkles weird twin brother until he goes anyway or something  
CG1: FUCK YOU!  
GA2: Kanny, co+uld yo+u please sto+p yo+ur lecturing?  
GA2: We've co+me to+ hear so+me wo+nderful news fro+m Nepeta, no+t to+ start sco+lding her fo+r finding so+meo+ne that makes her happy.  
CA2: vwell vwhats happening here?  
CG2: I am currently educating the pe9ple within this mem9 ab9ut their pro6lematic attitudes and h9w their careless talk c9uld p9tentially trigger s9me9ne wh9 is n9t inv9lved in any quadrants as it c9uld c9me acr9ss as gl9ating 9r spiteful c9mments t9 deli6erately distress th9se n9t inv9lved within relati9ns.  
CA2: vwovw that sounds so facinating. bet everyone here is lovwing the lecture.  
GG: :|  
CA2: vwait let me tag those triggers chief- #gambling #hearing privilege  
GA2: O+h fo+r go+o+dness sake, Cro+nus.  
CG2: Cr9nus's c9nsiderati9n f9r tagging c9uld 6e a less9n f9r y9u, P9rrim, c9nsidering he was trigger-aware en9ugh t9 tag them, al6eit 6elatedly, t9 6e fundamentally helpful t9 av9id trigging any panic 9r 9ffended resp9nses fr9m pe9ple within this mem9, c9nsidering we d9 have pe9ple wh9 have had gam6ling and hearing issues, especially fr9m th9se wh9 are active in the mem9.  
GA2: I did no+t have a gambling pro+blem.  
GG: um kankri is it?  
GG: nepeta already called this memo a matesprit hunt success  
GG: so it was pretty obvious what was gonna be in here :/  
GG: so its your own fault for coming in here and getting offended when nepeta made it pretty fucking clear what shed be talking about!  
CC2: aw shit dont feed the glubber, gurl  
CC2: he'll just latch onto that like a fuckin limpet  
CG2: Excuse me, Meenah 6ut y9ur 6latant disregard f9r the c9nsiderati9ns 9f triggers is indeed tr9u6ling. While I may initially excuse the human, due t9 having n9 cultural understanding 9f h9w tr9lls 6ehave, triggers can 6e easily esta6lished as warning la6els, 9r cauti9nary flags t9 av9id causing undue mental stress within an individual's c9mf9rt z9ne due t9 lack 9f pr9per tagging. Als9, y9ur 9wn termin9l9gy, such as the extensive aquatic wildlife puns y9u implemented int9 y9ur daily r9utine, c9uld als9 be acc9unted as triggering, especially f9r n9n-sea dwellers 9r th9se wh9 are afraid 9f water and 9ceans 9r even having a fear 9f aquatic lifef9rms. As such, they c9uld 6e distressed thr9ugh y9ur f9rceful 6ehavi9ur and c9nstant punning.  
CG2: #fish puns #hydr9ph96ia #aquatic wildlife  
AT1: ,,,uHH  
TT: My God. This is beyond my skills, I'm afraid.  
CG1: WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, KANKRI?  
CG1: NOBODY CARES.  
CA2: awv come on, vwe all vwanna be educated on triggers and  
CA2: stuff like that  
CG1: HOOFBEAST SHIT. YOU JUST WANT TO JUMP ON HIS BULGE.  
CT1: D--> You need to   
CT1: D--> Stop using such l001d language  
GG: ugh way to be a bunch of jackasses you guys! >:(  
GG: D--> I will not be held responsible for the words of these degenerate b100ded mutants  
CC2: you glubbin searious  
CG2: Already s9me 9f y9u have descended int9 hem9ph96ic slurs, n9 69ubt spurred 9n 6y the c9ntent 9f this mem9, namely the fact it is 6ased up9n the flush, 9r red, heart 9f quadrants. Due t9 the nature 9f these slurs they can 6e extremely distressing t9 th9se 9f the apparent '6l99d mutati9n', 9f which there are six 9f us present wh9, in fact, have this 6l99d c9l9urati9n which d9es n9t seem t9 make it a legitimate pr96lem since the maj9rity 9f us actually p9ssess it. H9wever, there is still a great deal 9f hem9ph96ic stigma surr9unding this c9l9ur, as seen 6y the careless slurs thr9wn a69ut 6y the residential 6lue 6l99d of the gr9up, wh9 still has a superi9rity c9mplex simply due t9 his hue which he feels the need t9 alienate tw9 fell9w mem6ers 9f his species, as well as the friendly alien units wh9 likewise have the crims9n 6l99d c9l9urati9n. Said 6l99d is 96vi9usly the n9rm f9r humanity and thus there is directly n9 harmful repercussi9ns 9n the 6latant 9ffensive triggering that s9me 9f y9u just participated in. H9wever in the case 9f myself and my descendent the slurs have a far m9re negative impact up9n 9ur mental well 6eing and can trigger 9fended th9ughts and panicked resp9nses, namely due t9 the deliberately vi9lent and/9r c9ndescending reacti9ns 9ur 6l99d revelati9ns inspire within 9ther tr9lls. This is extremely apparent in the upper caste 9f 6l99ds, wh9 apparently feel they are free t9 trigger us with their careless, savi9r c9mplex and 6etter-than-th9u reacti9ns.  
CG2: #hem9ph96ic slurs #6lue 6l99ded sn966ery #triggering 6ehavi9ur #humanity #crims9n #crims9n everywhere  
TC2: :o)  
CC2: 38(  
GG: :/  
AG1: ::::|  
AC1: :33 :??  
CG1: |:B  
CG2: Y9u sh9uld tag these faces as they c9uld 6e triggering t9 s9me9ne wh9 cann9t create them due t9 lack of facial expressi9n 9r indeed someone wh9 is blind and likewise unable t9 see them and em9te in a resp9nsive manner. Further m9re, flaunting y9ur healthy fingers c9uld c9me acr9ss as appendage privilege and c9uld be triggering t9wards s9me9ne wh9 has arm pr96lems 9r are missing their hands 9r simply cann9t type in a c9mprehensi6le manner.  
CG2: #em9tes #em9tic9ns #smilies #finger privilege #face privilege  
GC1: H3Y 1'M BL1ND 4ND 1'M TOT4LLY F1N3 W1TH EMOT3S.  
GC1: >:]  
GC1: > :]  
GC1: >:]  
GC1: > :]  
GC1: >:]  
TG: oh shit tz watch out those mad eyebrows dont offend someone  
GC1: D3N13D >;]  
AT1: uHH,,,  
TG: put those commas back in the pen bullwinkle  
TG: while i have all colours the rainbow in my bitchin bloodpack deck my set of hearts are only filled with chocolate brown and undead bovines  
EB: dude, gross  
TG: alright i admit that one kinda fell flat  
TG: still tz and i are just teasing tav  
TG: youre the bull to my matador ♥  
AT1: }:) ♥  
AC1: :33 you two are sooo cute! :))  
AG1: 8ARF.  
GC1: STOP TH4T OR PR3P4R3 FOR 4 GOOD DRUBB1NG.  
CG2: #flush flaunting #extensive human termin9l9gy #threats 9f vi9lence #threats 9f v9mit  
GA2: O+h fo+r go+o+dness sake, Kanny...  
CA2: hey there some of us sensitivwe people are triggered by all these humans around  
CC2: 38|  
GA2: Wo+uld yo+u shut up Cro+nus?  
GA2: The two+ o+f yo+u sho+uld apo+lo+gize to+ Nepeta fo+r being so+ rude and insensitive, invading this memo+ and turning it into+ o+ne o+f yo+ur self aggrandizing lectures and co+mplaining.  
CA2: vwoah vwoah im all dovwn with a cat getting herself a matesprit  
CA2: i mean evwen if its totally rubbing some salt in the vwounds of certain artists vwho dont have anyone  
CG2: This is exactly what I am talking a69ut P9rrim. While y9u are c9ncerned a69ut y9ur petty gender interests and unhealthy quadrant fixiati9n y9u ign9re the largest issues at hand which is namely y9ur 9ffensive and triggering behavi9ur regarding quadrants that y9u feel free to pu6licly fl9unce ab9ut. Nepeta can be excused due to her typical ign9rance as an Alternian tr9ll which was a savage and uncivilized place and hence their utter lack 9f c9mm9n decency and c9nsiderati9n is a given. C9nsidering the far m9re v9latile life style, even the menti9n 9f such s9fter affecti9n c9uld 6e distressing mainly due t9 the fact s9me 9f the individuals inv9lved in this c9nversati9n have l9st pitied 9r hated tr9lls in their vari9us failings and vi9lent fits and interacti9ns during their brief stint in Sgrub which ultimatly resulted in their deaths. Unlike 9ur sessi9n h9wever, which typically 9nly had Meenah as the vi9lent and mentally uns9und tr9ll the entire Alternian session was ripe with vi9lence and insta6ility and such a reminder 9f kinder life influences such as quadrants c9uld spark them 9ff again.  
CG2: #gender c9mplaining #quadrant indecency #Ign9rant Alternians #self induced failures  
CC2: yo watch that bass infufferable 38|  
GG: wow  
TT: Nepeta, I'm sorry about this.  
AC1: :33 its okay :)) my new matesprit hasnt shown up yet so were just killing two feather beasts with one claw right meow  
GA2: Well, ho+pefully Kanny will sto+p making such a scene and leave by then.  
CA2: vwowv i see porrim has the snark out already when kankri is just tryin to help  
CG2: Y9u sh9uld take n9te 9f Cr9nus's gratitude P9rrim. He ackn9wledges that I am merely attempting t9 aid th9se wh9 have need 9f my wisd9m which has 9nly increased 9ver the milli9ns 9f sweeps 9ur deaths have granted me.  
CG2: #gh9stly demise #sm9thering  
CG1: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.  
CT1: D--> I will not remain here and be lectured by some mutant on erroneous matters  
CC2: ya just setting him off  
CT1: D--> I  
CT1: D--> I apologize your Highness  
CC2: yessss 38D  
AG2: Meenah.  
CC2: cant even fuckin glub 38(  
CA2: awv kanny is just here to help us with triggers an shit  
CA2: he can totally stay here and lecture us about that kinda stuff all day  
CA2: i mean his lectures did kinda loose their luster since there isnt anything to admire since porrim made that damn swveater of his vwhich covers up those niceass pants he vwears all the time  
TT: Oh God.  
GA2: I BEG yo+ur pardo+n?  
CG2: Cr9nus y9u really sh9uld  
CG2: Y9u sh9uld tag th9se triggering and inappr9priate s9licitati9ns.  
CA2: alright alright chief  
CA2: #swveaters covering up a fantastic ass #disservwice to the wvhole fuckin troll race  
GG: haha XDD  
CG2: Cr9nus that is incredibly inappr9priate.  
CA2: Frankly, I am feeling quite triggered right n9w due t9 y9ur unc9uth s9licitati9ns as well as y9ur 9ptical privilege up9n my pers9n.  
CA2: awvwv come on we all knowv porrim just knitted you that stupid as shit swveater cause that ass of yours wvas distractin the shit outta evweryone  
GA2: Shut up Cro+nus and sto+p sexually harassing Kanny this instant befo+re I injure yo+u!  
CA2: wvell isnt someone reinforcing the jealous lusus stereotype?  
CC2: 38|  
CG2: P9rrim I d9 n9t require y9ur meddles9me aid in this scenari9. And Cr9nus my sweater was n9t made t9 prevent people fr9m...9gling at my p9steri9r. It was a gift t9 prevent the c9ldness 9f 9ur afterlife and dreambubles fr9m giving me a chill. Th9ugh I did initially find her hand-knitted gift t9 be mildly triggering as it c9uld c9me acr9ss as sm9thering and pandering f9r me and as P9rrim's status as a special caste 9f mid6l99d it c9uld even c9me acr9ss as cull s9licitati9n.  
AC2: oh is that wvhat porrim told you? come on youvwe got the best ass outta evweryone here.  
CA2: evwen fuckin meenah cant deny it  
CA2: go on say so meenah  
CC2: yo leave me outta it  
AG2: (He's got a point though.)  
TC2: ;o)  
CG1: ON THE LIST THINGS I REALLY DIDN'T FUCKING NEED TO KNOW.  
CG2: I did n9t  
CG2: I am feeling extremely triggered right n9w  
CA2: come on kankri   
CA2: just face it evweryone wvould totally grab that ass if you wverent celibate  
GA2: Cro+nus!  
CG2: I  
CG2: This is extremely  
  
crustaceaGenealogy [CG2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
CA2: wvait kankri dont go!  
CA2: nyeh no wvorries ill just track you down and comfort you  
GA2: If yo+u lay o+ne of yo+ur slimy hands o+n him, Cro+nus, I will cut them o+ff.  
CA2: wvowv im a nice guy porrim id nevwer get frisky wvith him  
CC2: fuckin hoofbeastshit  
CA2: wvhatevwer i need to go be the good guy as usual and comfort poor stressed out kankri  
  
cronusAmpora [CA2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GA2: I swear, if he to+uches him...  
CC2: fuck go right ahead  
CC2: not even the insufferable deserves that kinda shit from the douchebag  
TA2: WH47 I5 3V3RY000N3 81TCHING 0N 7H1S 5H17 F0R LEIKS F77CK3R5  
TA2: 7UCK 15 TH4747 WH0Y W3R3 4LL HERE 83C4U53 S0M3 W31RD M30W83457 53X 5H17 FUCCK I5??  
GG: um are you okay??  
TA2: N0 1M 50RRR3Y 1 D1D17 M34N 17 L1K3 USU4L SH1773  
TC2: :o(  
TA2: WH032 IS 7H47 FCK1N6 TH3N  
AC1: :33 its not like that! :oo  
GC2: d4mn! som3body 3lz3 hooking up? tot4lly psych3d y34h! >8]   
TA2: H3Y Y0U FU34R W3V32 H3R3 Y34H  
GC2: totally r4d m4n!  
TA2: 1 D0677 FUCK1N KN0WWD2  
TC2: :o(  
GC2: aw sh1t tun4 y4 w4nn4 go snuggl3 or som3th1n?  
TC2: :o)  
GG: is everything okay? :(  
GC2: n4h just ch1ll! 1v3 got th1s >8]  
CC2: great more of this shit on here BL--ERG)(  
TA2: FUC55 Y0U Y0D0U S34DW3LL31NG P3IC3 0F SH11177  
GC2: yo tun4 th4t a1nt r4d! why dont cha com3 ch1ll w1th m3 4t m1n3?  
GC2: w3 c4n h4ng 4nd do som3 sw33t g1ndz!  
TC2: :o)  
TA2: R1GH7 TH3N5 W3C 4N L1KE F6CK2 TH3R3 4H4HSH3H3  
  
topgunAphasia [TA2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GC2: k4y sw33t!  
GC2: yo th4t som3 r4d sh1t anyw4y about hook1ng up m1n1 l31jon!  
GC2: just r3m3mb3r som3 of th4t sh1t is H4RD COR3!!  
GC2: gott4 b3 sup4 r4d to k33p th4t r3d as my r4d1c4l sh4d3s!! >8]  
AC1: :33 um thank you?? ://  
GC2: h4h4 no worr13s!! now 1 gott4 sk4t3 4nd hook up w1th mt  
GC2: k33p 1t r34l!  
  
grindCaballerial [GC2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
EB: what was all that about?  
CG1: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.  
CG1: *THAT* WAS WHO YOU WERE FEELING INSECURE ABOUT TEREZI?  
GG1: >:[  
TT: I think we should steer this away from going somewhere unpleasant.  
AC1: :33 *the huntress growls in agreement*  
GG: ugh well come on then! tell us who it is! hey its totally meenah isnt it?? ;) like an actual catfish! :DDD  
CC2: yo dont throw that at me gurl 38|  
AG2: What? Meenah, what is she talking a8out?  
CC2: shes just tugging the kelp serk  
GG: yeah i was just making a joke to try and lighten the mood :/ sorry  
CT2: (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ I do hope I have not trotted to the stable too late, my mare.  
AC1: :33 *the huntress pounces from her perch!*  
AC1: :33 *she eagerly nuzzles her mate!*  
CC2: holy mackerel you hooked him?  
AC2: (^・o・^) OMGOMGOMGHMOGMOG!!!!!!!!!  
AC2: (=；ェ；=) I HAVE TO UPDATE MY WALL!  
AC2: (=TωT=) THE F333333333LS!!!!!!!!!  
  
agoutiCeridwen [AC2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GG: oh wow youre dating horuss??? :D  
CG1: WAIT, IT'S *HIM*?  
CG1: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?  
CG1: WHAT ARE YOU, THE FUCKING SWEATY DOUCHEBAG WHISPERER? HE'S PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORSE MATESPRITS YOU COULD HAVE CHOSEN!  
AC1: :33 ugh!  
AC1: :33 stop being so mean! >:((  
CC2: yo that was pretty off the bass  
CC2: you gettin green around the gills mcnubs 38)  
AC1: :33 its not that  
AC1: :33 karkitty is just mad because he walked in on us pailing :PP  
CT2: (;≧Д≦) Nepeta!   
GC1: >:O  
GA1: Oh My God  
TG: holy shit  
TG: karkles is a total voyeur  
TC2: :oO  
AG1: hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
CT1: D--> I  
CT1: D--> That is just  
CC2: haha are you fuckin glubbin me  
GG: wait what???  
GG: karkat youre not supposed to spy on people when theyre being intimate!  
AC1: :33 *ac giggles behind a paw remembering karkittys face!* XDD  
CG1: AFJKGNFKS  
GC1: FUCKYOUFUCKOYU  
CT1: D--> Don't speak to my moiriail in that tone   
CT2: (ಠ益ಠ) Don't talk to my mate like that.   
CC2: well shit looks like you got two big blues to look after you 38D  
CC2: so youre totally hooked on the lil catfish horuss?  
CT2: ⊂((・▽・))⊃ I canter deny the claims, Your Harness. I have indeed become mates with Nepeta.  
AG1: What the fuuuuuuuck?  
TC2: :o)  
CC1: T)(AT IS SO CUT---E! 38D  
CC1: I )(ope everyfin works out Nepeta!  
CC1: i gotta clamscray but troll me later or swim around sometime for a glub!  
AC1: :33 sure thing fefuri! :))  
  
cuttlefishCuller [CC1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GA2: I admit, I did no+t expect yo+u two+ to+ pair up.  
GA2: Regardless, I wish yo+u bo+th the best.  
AC1: :33 *ac purrs happily!*  
  
graylinAureola [GA2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
EB: wait, karkat if you were spying on them why are you so surprised?  
CG1: BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST SOME FUCKING HORRIFIC DAYMARE OR SOME SHIT!  
GG: haha that kind makes sense because of your weirdass behaviour earlier!  
GG: maybe youll think twice about spying on people having sex next time! XD  
CG1: FUCK YOU, HARLEY. FUCK YOU AND THE MUSCLEBEAST YOU RODE ON.  
TT: Ahem. Moving on from Karkat's traumatizing peeping Tom moment...  
TT: I am glad you found someone to love, Nepeta. You are certainly one of the most deserving of affection out of all of the trolls.  
GA1: Well I Must Admit I Am Surprised By Your Choice  
GA1: But Then I Also Expressed Skepticism When I Found Out About Your Moirailaligence With Equius And That Has Been One Of The Most Stable Relationships Around  
AC1: :33 you can find pity in the strangest of places! :))  
AT1: yEAH,,, yOU cAN sAY tHAT aGAIN }:)  
TG: well best of luck to you and your new big sweaty blue equine boyfriend  
TG: must be an acquired taste like mountain dew or some shit  
TG: well just leave you two to go paint horse dong on the wall or whatever the fuck you guys do in your spare time aint that right tavros  
AT1: oKAY,,, ♥  
AG1: Hey, how a8out I come along?   
AG1: For old times sake. ;;;;)  
TG: how about you fuck off serket  
AG1: Woooooooow, rude much.  
TG: come on tav lets leave the lovebirds alone  
  
turntechGodhead [TG] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AT1: uHH cONGRATS,,, tO yOU nEPETA,,,  
AC1: :33 thanks! :))  
  
adiosToreador [AT1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AG1: Those two are soooooooo lame.  
GG: shut up vriska!  
GG: god forbid tavros is happy to be away from your psycho ass!!! >:(  
GA1: Jade  
GG: dont 'jade' me!  
GG: im fed up with vriska being a jealous spiteful bitch!  
EB: Oh ouch.  
TT: True, however dragging these issues into someone's romantic announcement is in fairly bad form.  
TT: And Vriska? Kindly restrain yourself from making such a scene even though I know it's difficult you.  
AG1: Ugh, can't even 8reathe in here, seriously. ::::|  
GG: oh right   
GG: sorry about that nepeta and horuss :( :(  
AC1: :33 thats okay!  
CT2: (•̀o•́)ง Indeed, no lameness came from your interjecting, barkbeast alien.  
GG: um okay?  
GG: anyway how did you two hook up? :D  
AG2: Yes, this! Was it during our 8rief alteration during our strife when we first encountered Vriska? Or did you perhaps you were walking around the dream8u88les, wondering at the strange otherworldly place you had 8e 8rought to, a place where reason was lost and death was now simply endless dreams haunted by Cheru8ic lords of time? Mayhaps you came across one another and were intrigued by the sheer difference in one another, the odd familiarly of those within your own groups yet ultimately the differences reigned supreme until you-  
CC: holy shit serk  
CC2: clam your ass down  
AG2: Oh yes, my apologies. I am not intending to pry.  
CC2: lol whatever bet you are just angling for some nasty gos  
CC2: why dont you ask mcnubs all aboat that  
CC2: since ya know he got some front row seats to that pailin session 38D  
CG1: WHY DON'T YOU GO FORK FUCK YOURSELF.  
CT1: D--> You should not  
CT1: D--> Where are my fudging towels  
EB: oh man this whole memo is hilarious.  
EB: hey nepeta? you shouldve taken a photo of karkats face.  
GG: haha yeah! him being traumatized speechless must have been hilarious!! XD  
AC1: :33 no unfurtunately :// he did kinda bang his head on the door trying to leave so quickly though   
CG1: I HATE YOU ALL.  
CG1: ESPECIALLY YOU NEPETA FOR TELLING ALL THESE NOSY FUCKS WHAT HAPPENED. NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SCRUB THAT HORRENDOUS IMAGE OUT OF MY FUCKING THINKPAN EVEN IF I CULL YOU FUCKERS FOR VOMITING IT OUT.  
CT2: (´･益･｀*) If you lay one hoof on my mare I will snap it off at the hock.  
GG: um  
TT: While your protectiveness could be seen as commendable, Horuss, I do believe Karkat was simply making an empty threat as usual.  
CG1: FUCK.  
CG1: YEAH PAST ME WAS JUST BEING A FUCKING MORON, I WASN'T ACTUALLY GOING TO HURT HER.  
CT1: D--> Good  
CT1: D--> Then it would behoove you to watch your mouth before threatening my moirail  
CT1: D--> Irregardless of how 'joking' you were about the issue  
CT2: (･｀ｪ´･)つ E%actly.  
CT2: (¬д¬。) Kankri, despite his nauseating blood, was accurate in his assessment on the herd mentalities of your various breeds. Making threats no matter how unintended towards my mare will not be tolerated.  
CG1: OH MY FUCKING GOD.  
CG1: NEPETA COULD YOU CALL OFF YOUR DAMN BLUE BLOODS? LAST THING I NEED IS TO DIE HORRIBLY UNDER COPIOUS SWEAT, FREAKISH MUSCLES AND STUCK-UP CURSING.  
AC1: :33 hehe i suppose!  
AC1: :33 even if karkat was serious im already dead you two  
AC1: :33 its not like hes going to kill me all over again  
CT1: D--> Please stop talking about that  
AC1: :33 sorry ://  
AC1: :33 *ac twitches her tail*  
AC1: :33 but still you can kick karkats butt if he does try to kill me but not before  
AG1: Ha.  
CG1: OH COME ON.  
CT1: D--> Very well ♦  
AC1: :33 ♦  
CT2: m(￢0￢)m If that is what you wish, than I shall not crush the mutant's head underneath my hooves just yet.  
AC1: :33 ♥  
CT2: (≚ᄌ≚) ♥  
CG1: THIS ISN'T ANY BETT  
CG1: UGH FINE.  
CG1: soooo cute!! :D  
TC2: :o)  
TT: Perhaps you shall think twice before making death threats, hmm?  
CG1: NO, FUCK YOU LALONDE.  
GA1: Karkat  
CG1: OH MY FUCKING GOD DON'T YOU EVEN START WITH ME.  
EB: are you going to start another rage memo after this?  
CG1: OF COURSE I AM, YOU DEGENERATE BRAINED NOOKSNIFFER.  
AT2: yo whats go1ng on here...  
CG1: >:[  
CT2: /(;-_-)...Hello, Rufioh.  
TT: Ah.  
CC2: shell 380  
GG: oh hey! nepeta and horuss became girlfriend/boyfriends! isnt that great?? :D  
AT2: oh...  
AT2: well um congrats? 1 mean...1 hope youre happy with her, horuss  
AT2: 1 mean...l1ke you were with me yo...before that we1rd constant sm1ling sh*t  
CT2: ―(T_T)→ ...  
AC1: >:((  
TG: wow stop hitting on your ex when his girlfriend is right there, fucknuts.  
GA2: Indeed Youre Coming Across As Incredibly Self entitled Right Now  
AT2: 1m not try1ng to be l1ke that okay...sh*t d1d 1t really come out that bad?  
GA1: Yes It Did  
TC2: :o(  
AA2: なぜ私はあなたのようなバカと恋に落ちるように呪われたのですか？  
AT2: hey doll..no need to be so rude  
AA2: これで、あなたを軽蔑する人と生活した後、あなたのほとんどを過ごした  
AT2: that 1sn't... that 1snt what he meant...and ne1ther d1d 1, yo  
AA2: そして、それはすべてあなた自身の障害に起因している。  
  
akaAshita [AA2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AT2: aw damara 1 d1dn't mean it...yo anyway, horuss...hope youre happy with her  
AT2: 1 mean, the doll 1s from altern1a and that sh1t 1s wack yo...  
CT2: ( ب_ب) It would behoove you to learn some tact and not put down my mare before me, mutant.   
AC1: :33 *ac growls at the use of that word!*  
CT2: (；一_一) I apologize for my uncolt wording, though I still stand by my original form.  
AC1: :33 *the huntress nuzzles her mighty hoofbeast!* ♥   
CT2: (*´∀`*) ♥  
TT: Rufioh, perhaps it would be best if you leave at this moment.  
TT: Your jealous behaviour is really souring what should be a joyous occasion for these two.  
CC2: yo that human is right  
CC2: ya acting reel shitty right now  
AT2: sh*t 1 d1dnt mean to sound l1ke that  
CC2: well your actin pretty shitsauce right now homes  
AT2: well yeah but she 1s k1nda from altern1a where everything is sh*t, yo  
AT2: where dolls l1ke you and damara as the norm...  
AT2: sh*t... we all know how that ended... w1th you and horuss dead and me f***ed up...  
CT2: (#ಠQಠ#) Do. Not. Insult. My. Mare.  
AT2: 1m not...1ts just d1dn't she d1e from all that crazy sh*t?  
AT2: our sess1ons was k1nda screwed but at least we d1dn't all k1ll each other  
CT1: D--> Are you implying my moiriail was in anyway responsible for her horrid murder  
GC1: >:[  
TT: Rufioh, would you just leave? You are coming across as incredibly insensitive and a bit of an asshole right now.  
AT2: 1'm just try1ng to warn him...I mean horuss already d1ed once due to crazy quadrant sh*t  
GG: i think saying nepeta is a potential murdering lunatic isnt going to help you ass!  
AT2: no but... 1 know how crazy you dolls get over th1s stuff 1s all  
CC2: 38|  
CT1: D--> Nepeta is an wonderful troll and I will not tolerate you speaking about her like that, especially from a mutant with frivolous tendencies. Her selfless actions are one of the reasons I have not killed anyone, both while I was alive and in death  
AC1: :33 its okay equius  
AC1: :33 rufioh I kinda get what your saying but you dont have to be such an ass about it ://  
AC1: :33 im not going to go crazy and kill horuss cause i think he looks tasty one day or im having a rage aneurism!  
AC1: :33 and im not going to cheat on him with someone >:((  
CC2: whale that was shrimply nasty 380  
AT2: ...yeah f1ne, guess 1 deserved that...  
AG1: Ha, are there spades I see????????  
AC1: :33 ugh no!  
AC1: :33 I dont like black romance  
AC1: :33 im just making it really damn clear he needs to back off my mate!! >:((  
GC1: MOT1ON C4RR13D  
CT1: D--> Language  
AC1: :33 whoops sorry :XX  
AT2: uh sorry doll...d1dnt mean to come across as so sh*tty...  
CT1: D--> Such vile and baseless accusations against my moirail will not be tolerated  
CT1: D--> Especially from a low b100d who has shown it do not understand any kind of commitment in quadrants  
TT: Now, I think everyone needs to calm down. This is something that is supposed to be celebrated, not something that dissolves into accusations and angry words.  
AC1: :33 he started it >:((  
GG: yeah!  
AG2: I know that Rufioh's comments were completely unneeded however his callous words simply came from concern.  
AG2: However deliberately egging on peoples rising emotions is incredibly unhelpful, Meenah.  
CC2: yo what the fuck?  
AT2: 1 shouldnt have sa1d that...but yo its val1d 1snt 1t?  
AT2: i mean only two of us got k1lled by the other 1n our sess1on...  
AT2: but how many of the1r team murdered one another...?  
AT2: even though all them dy1ng seemed to be necessary yo...  
GA1: Shut Up  
CC2: hey that shit is why those glubbers have made it this far  
AT2: you werent that great of a leader meenah...and you kept on try1ng to k1ll us but we st1ll l1ved for most of 1t...  
AT2: but these altern1an trolls are whack yo...  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GG: oh nice one you fuckface! >:(  
AC1: :33 okay that is it!  
AC1: :33 you can come in here and call me a psycho all you want!!  
AC1: :33 but dragging my friends into it and trying to blame all the horrid shit that happened to us on one person is too far!  
AC1: :33 im horuss matesprit now and i know about how fucking terrible you are at flush relationships and how much youve already hurt him!! i dont give a shit if you are already dead!   
AC1: :33 if i fucking catch you gander bulbing him or trying to blame my friends for all the horrible things that happened then ILL GUT YOU MYSELF!!! >:((  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has BANNED apisTotemo [AT2] from memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AG1: ::::0  
AC1: :33 oh sorry about the swearing :((  
AG2: While I don't approve of the fairly unorthodox and aggressive manner in which you explained yourself, I do think it's 8est for everyone for Rufioh to...have some alone time, until he has regained his composure.  
EB: that guy was being a dick, he needed to be banned  
EB: hopefully he'll stop being such an ass   
CT1: D--> While I disapprove of the gratuitous swearing  
AC1: :33 i apologized for that  
CT1: D--> Well yes. And in this regard those STRONG words were necessary vocabulary all things considered  
AC1: :33 yeah...*the huntress hisses faintly befurre curling up back around her teapot*  
GC1: W41T, W4SN'T MOST OF H1S MO4N1NG 4BOUT YOU, HORUSS? >:?  
CT2: ｍ（＿　＿；；ｍ I do believe I was the cause of the muta- his outlaw nickering, yes.   
CT2: (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू) However that was still unprecedented and caused much snorting, considering he made his stance towards me abundantly clear.  
GG: so hes being a jealous little shit then? well he can fuck off!  
AC1: :33 yeah thats why i banned him; hes got no right to go around behaving like that  
TC2: :o)  
CC2: pfft just ignore dat glubber lil leijon  
CC2: hes got not fuckin right to lecture you aboat quadrant shit not after the fuck up with that psycho bitch  
AG2: Technically that was yours and Horuss's fault.  
TT: Let us not rehash ancient feuds, shall we?  
TT: Yes, there has been some violent retributions doled out amongst us but that doesn't mean we need to continue down that path. Afterall, the dream bubbles have provided a second chance for many of our...less fortunate associates, proving that you can find happiness even in death.   
GA1: Indeed  
EB: yeah so maybe you guys should just stop pointing fingers and killing each other  
AG1: weeeeeeeell...  
GC: >:[  
EB: oh just stop it vriska! that was your own fault anyway.  
GG: can we just stow it with this shit guys???  
GG: stop bringing your fucking murdering troll drama in here and screwing things over or ill zap over there and kick your undead asses!  
GG: or live asses in terezis case  
GC1: YOU ST4Y 4W4Y FROM MY 4SS  
TT: Alright, enough about asses.  
CT2: (・_・ヾ What is the purpose of that nickering?  
AC1: :33 i think its just humans being weird ://  
AC1: :33 terezi got contaminated by them :PP  
GC1: H3Y!  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG1] has joined memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 karkat youre back!  
CG1: YEAH PAST ME DECIDED TO STOP BEING A SELF-PITYING FUCKHEAD.  
AC1: :33 i banned that douchebag from the memo so yeah just ignore what he said, it was rubbish  
CT1: D--> Langua  
GC1: D--> Ugh, never mind  
CG1: DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.  
EB: are you going to start going into a monologue again?  
EB: because i'm sure nepeta and um  
EB: your name is horuss right?  
CT2: (*´艸`*) Yes, that is my name.  
EB: right okay  
EB: but anyway, going on another massive raging tangent in this memo i bet would just be the icing on the cake for an already fantastic announcement here!  
TC2: :o)  
GG: okay i have to ask who the hell is the smiley guy???  
CC2: yo tis just our dead mutie makara  
CC2: he aint one for talkin  
CT2: ( ?´_ゝ｀) I wasn't aware they were having cake. Has Her Harness made another one?  
AC1: :33 (its just more human stuff! they make up weird sayings that make no sense)  
CT2: (•ิ_•ิ)? They are certainly a peculiar breed.  
CC2: ha ill say 38D  
GG: you probably cant tell by im giving you the finger right now :D  
CC2: bitch be cold yo 380  
TT: AHEM.  
TT: Going back to the origin of the memo; Nepeta and Horuss's upgraded relationship.  
TT: While it is certainly happy news, I must confess I wouldn't expect you to seek out a relationship with Horuss, out of all the trolls at your disposal.  
AC1: :33 we um went though a list??  
CT1: D--> Indeed, we scrutinized potential matesprits for my moiriail for I would only permit someone of STRONG worth for her   
GG: :D :D  
GG: you two are just so adorable!  
GG: i mean like two sets of you guys :/  
GG: ugh i meant you and equius and how youre now with horuss as well!  
CC2: ahaha stayin in the same school i sea  
CC2: gotta keep the same type of mackerel? 38D  
AG1: ::::|  
GA1: beotch that was a good one  
CG1: IT WAS SHIT AND YOU KNOW IT.  
GA1: 38(  
CG1: BUT SERIOUSLY, NEPETA, DO YOU CONSIDERING IT SOME SADISTIC SENSE OF SPORT TO PURSUE THE MOST FUCKED UP STUCK-UP SNOBS AROUND? I THINK THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO BEAT THOSE TWO IN THE CREEP DEPARTMENT ARE THE FUCKING INSANE CLOWNS.  
TC2: ;o)  
CG1: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.  
AC1: :33 uggggggghhh  
AC1: :33 theyre completely diffurent people!  
AC1: :33 it would be like saying you and kankri are the same ://  
AG1: Hey, Karkat is just as longwinded as that jerkass. He's just louder a8out it.  
CG1: FUCK YOU IN THE NOOK WITH A RUSTY SICKLE, SERKET.  
CG1: I SOUND FUCKING NOTHING LIKE THAT SWEATERED ASSHOLE AND YOU KNOW IT.  
AG1: Careful guys, here comes a sermon!!!!!!!! ::::O  
GA1: Now Stop That  
GA1: This Memo Has More Than Enough Hostile Intent Coming From It I Believe  
GC1: H3Y N3P3T4 TOT4LLY H4D 4 R1GHT TO ST4K3 H3R CL41M L1K3 TH4T 3SP3C14LLY W1TH RUF1OH TRY1NG TO SCOUT OUT HORUSS 4G41N >:[  
GA1: Well Yes He Was Over Stepping His Boundaries So Nepeta Was Correct In Emphasising Her Claim  
CC2: water ya mean yo 38?  
CG1: JUST TELLING RUFIOH TO STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING BULGELICKER AND PISS OFF OR GET A GUTTING.  
TT: So this level of hostility is typical?  
GC1: 1N 4LT3RN14 1T W4S M4ND4TORY TH4T W3 H4D M4T3SPR1TS 4S W3LL 4S 4 K1SME31S OR W3'D G3T K1LL3D BY TH3 DRON3S WH3N TH3Y SHOW3D UP.   
GC1: SO Y34H, 1F SOM3ON3 ST4RT1NG SN1FF1NG 4ROUND YOUR R3D OR BL4CK QU4DR4NTS YOU H4D TO RUN TH3M OFF R1GHT QU1CK, USU4LLY BY K1LL1NG TH3M. >:[  
EB: wow that's...pretty intense.  
CC2: whale shell 380  
AG2: Oh. I was aware of the sheer wondrous differences 8etween our sessions but it is certainly another thing to see it implemented, however.  
CG1: HA HA HA HA.  
CG1: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID NOOSNIFFER WHO TOTALLY ROMANTICIZES THE ABSOLUTE SHIT THAT ALTERNIA WAS. YEAH, GETTING FUCKING KILLED FOR NOT HAVING QUADRANTS FILLED WAS SO FUCKING **WONDROUS** WASN'T IT? FUCK YOU.  
AC1: :33 anyways!!  
AC1: :33 i got a good sniff at him >:(( i dont care if he means no harm ill fuck him up if he tries to scratch up meow quadrants   
AC1: :33 in before language lecturing ://  
CT1: D--> Hmph  
CT1: D--> The mutant has proven himself incredibly unfaithful in terms of quadrants so a STRONG, clear threat was well within order  
GA1: His Behaviour Was Certainly Atrocious  
TC2: :o)  
GG: yeah what the fuck was his problem?? hes got no right getting all jealous and bitchy! >:(  
CT2: 「(°ヘ°) I...Well. I suppose it is a good thing we have this mane course all clearly  
CT2: (≖͞_≖̥) Um...  
AC1: :33 dont worry horuss! i think i made it purrty clear to rufioh to back off  
CT2: (ง •̀_•́)ง I am not objecting to your branding of my flank. The STRONGNESS of your claim was admirable.  
EB: yeah, strong and all that other stuff.  
GG: anyway im happy for you nepeta! and you too horuss! :) its always good to know that no matter how shit our lives - um afterlives? - you can still find some happiness! :D :D  
AC1: :33 *the huntress flicks her tail, purring happily!*  
GC1: Y34H, 4S LONG 4S YOU GUYS 4R3 H4PPY 1M 4LL FOR YOUR WH1RLW1ND ROMANCE H3H3H3H3 >:]  
CG1: THOUGH GOD'S KNOW FUCKING WHY YOU PICKED HIM. MUST BE AN ACQUIRED TASTE LIKE THAT FAYGO CRAP.  
CT1: D--> Stop it. You are also in no position to lecture my meowrail on how she manages her red quadrant  
CT1: D--> fiddlesticks, I mean moirail  
TC2: :o)  
CC2: haha S)(OR-E ya did 38D  
CC2: YOU OF ALL PEOPLE MOCKING SOMEONE FOR USING PUNS? OH THE IRONY.   
TT: Careful, that's quite a buzz word, Karkat.  
TT: However, it's been established the two of you are quite content and pleased with your relationship upgrade and I can find no fault with it. So I am comfortable with offering my congratulations and wish you a long and happy relationship with one another before I take my leave.  
GA1: And I As Well  
AC1: :33 thank you :))  
CT2: ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ Indeed.  
  
tentacleTherapist [TT] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
CC2: yeah i mean if you glubbers are happy and ya aint gonna go fuckin psycho and kills us then do ahead and be all red and weird wid each other 38)  
CC2: wait ya aint gonna loose it are ya?  
AC1: :33 yes we are :||  
AC1: :33 you have discofured my secret, braided version of fefuri :OO  
AC1: :33 i am secretly lord english and i seduced horuss just to devour all your ghosts >:))  
CC2: what da fuck  
AG1: Hahahahahaha, you are certainly getting 8etter at the human sarcasm thing ::::)  
CC2: bitch, you cheatin cause ya using that human lingo shit 38|  
CT2: (｡≍ฺ‿ฺ≍ฺ) I, for one, am glad she is not a giant Time Lord stallion who gazes upon ghosts, no matter how impressive the STRONGNESS of his physique is.  
CC2: coddamn was that horuss crackin a genuine fuckin joke?  
CC2: id make ma own joke aboat seein that kinda humour after were dead but thats kinda a dead whale already yo  
AG2: Well, that does prove you are genuinely happy within your new matespritship, though! I am very pleased the two of you have found a healthy flush relationship to involve yourselves in.   
AG2: With that, I shall 8id you my leave, along with a final note of congratulations. Also Horuss, if you ever feel like telling me the no dou8t riveting and adora8le tale of how you two met and subsequently fell in pity with each other, I can typically 8e found near Meenah's palace with my stall so please do not hesitate to come to me. ::::)  
AC1: :33 okay! thanks aranea :))  
CT2: (⁎⁍̴ڡ⁍̴⁎) I will give consideration to your request and may trot over to your loose-box at a later date.  
  
araneidaeGossamer [AG2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
CC2: yeah you two had fun wid ya romance shit  
CC2: long as neither of ya loose ya shit im down wid it  
  
cephalopodConqueror [CC2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
CT2: 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ Truly we are a magnificent mated pair if Her Horseness expresses such blatant approval.  
CT2: (。ヘ°) Neigh, that is not- I horsestly meant that we are currently a fine match, not that I object to more lascivious actives with  
GC1: H3H3H3!  
CT2: 彡(-_-;)彡 Halt, that is not  
CT2: o(-_-;*) H**k I did not mean to say  
CT2: (＊0＊;) Neigh, we are both very  
AC1: :33 *the huntress giggles behind a paw watching her hoofbeast get so flustered!!*  
CT2: ヾ(×× ) ﾂ Um  
CT2: （Ω_Ω） I canter even whinny properly, this is just go*h d**n  
AG1: What, you mean you can just say you pailed each others thinkpans out? :::;)  
CT1: D--> Such lewd language is not needed in such a discussion  
AG1: Oh yeah, because I am soooooooo going to let myself be lectured about lewdness from a sweaty freak like you!  
AG1: You made a damn fuck8ot of all things.  
AG1: Not to mention one that wound up being a vessel fo  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has BANNED arachnidsGrip [AG1] from memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 anyways!  
AC1: :33 all hissing aside :xx  
TC2: :o)  
GG: uh why does she have to be such a raging fuckass all the time ill never understand >:(  
GC1: Y34H, YOU 4R3NT TH3 ONLY ON3.  
GG: well who cares she can bitch all she wants :| after all she doesnt have a boyfriend so jokes on her! :D :D  
CG1: SHE JUST A SPITEFUL BULGELICKER WHICH EVEN DEATH HASN'T REALLY DONE ANYTHING FOR. SURPRISE, SURPRISE, THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A HUGH BITCH BLUH BLUH.  
EB: i would make a joke about how loving all you guys are but i don't think you guys would get the reference.   
CG1: OH HA HA, TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OUR CULTURAL IGNORANCE? FOR SHAME JOHN, FOR SHAME.  
CT1: D--> I tr001ly doubt you are objecting to either of the aliens taking advantage of you   
CG1: DON'T YOU FUCKING GET WISE WITH ME.  
CG1: D--> I will speak in whatever manner I see fit, you do not command me  
GC1: OH GR34T, H3R3 W3 GO 4G41N  
GC1: UGH WHY DONT YOU GUYS JUST H4T3FUCK OR SOM3TH1NG R4TH3R TH4N TH1S CONST4NT SN1P1NG?  
CT1: D--> How dare you suggest such a vulgar thing  
CG1: OH GOD, JUST FUCK OFF TEREZI!  
GG: ha so your true intentions have been reveled karkat! :D  
AC1: :33 hey equius meowby we should go through your own list ;))  
CT1: D--> We are discussing your current quadrants, not mine  
AC1: :33 boo!  
TC2: HONK  
TC2: [:o)](http://38.media.tumblr.com/8983159e3a17c6938e62d9a7612946c7/tumblr_mzp6skNoqV1simhsgo1_400.gif)  
TC2: [:o)](https://funstuffpeoplesendme.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/animals-are-the-best-therapy_001.gif?w=600)  
TC2: [;o)](http://31.media.tumblr.com/84ceec8f75699ec95a0987d32ba9f527/tumblr_n84lkriiwh1r6c90zo1_500.png)  
CG1: I  
CG1: WHAT THE FUCK IS ***THIS***???  
CT1: D--> Oh my god  
TC2: >;o)  
CG1: YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING CLOWN!  
CT2: ((((*｡_｡)_ That is... manely uncolt, Highblood.  
AC1: :33 :OO  
CT1: D--> Nepeta do not touch tha  
CT1: D--> Darnit  
AC1: :33 um i have to say im purrty sure i never um black out with horuss's ummmm...  
AC1: :33 *the huntress hides her face with a paw*  
GG: what the fuck is that????? oh my god XD XD  
GC1: H3H3H3H3H3H3!  
EB: erm....  
TC2: [;o)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/8ed712e46696de3114bf01e63301990b/tumblr_mj8rz9rSnU1r0yv3eo7_500.gif)  
TC2: HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKERS.  
  
temperedCapra [TC2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 um thanks???  
GG: haha john!! :O  
EB: what? i didn't do that!! it's just weird clown things!  
CG1: WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT IS THIS SHIT YOU FUCKER? WHAT THE ***FUCK***?!  
EB: calm down!  
AC1: :33 karkat stop being mean! i think it was just usual subjugglator stuff cause im purrty sure i never blacked out on the floor like that ://  
CT2: [º-°] E%actly. The highblood has always had an...odd mannerism to his bearings. I would not put my hock out of joint over his jestings.  
CG1: JESTINGS MY ASS! THAT SHIT ISN'T FUNNY. IT'S NOT.  
GG: oh come on karkat! i bet he doesnt know about the whole breakup and...stuff with you :( :( :(  
CG1: IT WAS STILL JUST...IT WAS JUST FUCKING RUDE.  
CT1: D--> The Highb100d is frivolous in his affairs, which seems to be a typical mentality for...his type  
GC1: EQU1US T4LK1NG SM4CK ABOUT 4 M4K4R4? QU1CK, S4V3 M3 J4D3!  
CT2: (」ﾟﾛﾟ)｣ Is it now behoofed to be that distress?  
AC1: :33 its just some quadrant things that hit a little too close to the lair i think :((  
CT2: (*≧艸≦) Is that all? Barely anything to nicker about in a civil herd.  
EB: karkat's making a fuss over nothing. it was just that other clown being annoying!  
GG: yeah...he probably didnt even know :( and if he did...well ill go kick his ass later on  
GC1: 1D P4Y TO SN1FF TH4T  
CG1: UGH JUST SHUT UP.  
CG1: STUPID CLOWNS. STUPID FUCKING MORONIC CLOWNS. EVEN THE DEAD ONES.  
EB: okay, lets not drag this memo into another 'i hate clowns' rage.  
GC1: HOW DO3S H3 3V3N K33P TR4CK OF 4LL THOS3 R1D1CULOUS M3MOS?  
EB: he keeps notes.  
CG1: FUCK YOU. THOSE NOTES HAPPEN TO BE INCREDIBLY FUCKING HELPFUL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.  
GG: haha well this whole memo has been great i have to say!! :D  
GG: but im really glad you and horuss have gotten together nepeta :)  
GG: we can always do with some more good news :) :)   
AC1: :33 *the huntress purrs happily at the barkbeast* :))  
EB: same here, regardless of all the moaning and complaining.  
GG: yeah dont let those boors get you down! :) well see you guys later  
GG: come on boys! mush mush!! :D :D  
EB: ugh fine! shesh, you're such a busy body jade!  
GG: hush you! ;)  
GG: see you guys later! :D :D:D  
  
gardenGnostic [GG] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
EB: yeah i gotta go as well.  
EB: i'm happy for you two, though! as jade said, good news is always great to hear!  
EB: so have fun you guys! and try not to rile up poor little karkat anymore, hee hee.  
CG1: FUCK YOU!  
CG1: BUT YEAH, HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SWEATY NEW MATESPRIT, NEPETA.  
CG1: THE FUCKING GODS KNOW YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF PUTTING UP WITH HIS LUNATIC HOOFBEAST, PORN-OBSESSED THINPAN AND GRATUITOUS BODY SECRETIONS DUE TO YOUR PRACTICE WITH EQUIUS, WHO IS A LESS INTENSE VERSION. HOW THE FUCK YOU MANAGE IT WITHOUT CULLING EITHER OF THOSE BULGEFUCKERS I'LL NEVER KNOW.   
AC1: :33 *ac purrs happily from her teapot, pleased at the praise from the alien and angry crabcreature*  
CG1: UGH YEAH WHATEVER.  
CG1: THE CRABCREATURE RETREATS IN A DIGNIFIED AS FUCK MANNER AT THE WEIRDO MEOWBEAST.  
EB: ha ha ha!  
CG1: STFU  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
EB: see you guys later.  
AC1: :33 bye!  
  
ectoBiologist [EB] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
GC1: Y34H 1 SUPPOS3 1 SHOULD GO 4ND H3LP TH3 M4YOR.  
GC1: GOTT3 BU1LD 4 MONUM3NT FOR TH3 TOWN'S ACH13V3M3NTS. >:]  
GC1: BUT H3Y, GOOD WORK ON F1LLING THOS3 QU4DR4NTS!  
GC1: *TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON L34NS DOWN 4ND G1V3S 4 B1G SN1FF OF 4PPROV4L 4T TH3 N3WLY F1LL3D CR1MSON FLUSH H34RT*  
AC1: :33 *the huntress purrs happily at praise from the majestic dragon!*  
  
gallowsCalibrator [GC1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
CT1: D--> Well, at least that unsavory braying is at an end  
CT1: D--> And without any extreme reactions or outrageous reactions. Barring some of typical crassness of our group  
AC1: :33 i kinda expected that :||  
AC1: :33 now everyone knows at least!   
AC1: :33 i just wanted to announce it! no hiding in the shadows like a squeakbeast  
CT2: ୧(﹒︠ᴗ﹒︡)୨ It certainly did not buck up as I anticipated, but yes I am quite content with our herd being aware our our pasture change.   
CT2: (,ི_ོ,)ྀ Even if a few of those details could have gone without neighing.  
AC1: :33 *ac's whiskers twitch in amusement*   
AC1: :33 it was very funny though!  
AC1: :33 besides it was his fault anyway  
CT1: D--> It was still incredibly  
CT1: D--> Ugh, never mind  
CT1: D--> I shall leave the two of you to your own devices  
CT1: D--> I trust you shall treat her respectfully and with great care, Horuss  
CT2: ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ You need not snort, I shall cherish my mate and treat her with the proper dignity and respect as behooves someone within my quadrant.  
CT1: D--> Very well, as long as you keep that in mind  
CT1: D--> With that I shall take my leave  
CT1: D--> If you have need of me Nepeta, I will be at my hive  
AC1: :33 okay!   
AC1: :33 ♦ :))  
CT1: D--> ♦   
  
centaursTesticle [CT1] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 that went purrty well!  
CT2:┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→ Indeed, I am glad that your moirail approves. Despite his hoof in bringing us to pasture I did not wish to spook him and thus cause you to jump the fence.  
AC1: :33 hes just wanting to make sure i'm not going to get hurt :))  
CT2: (　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ) I do not find a fault with that.  
CT2: （/｡＼) But now that our business has trotted to a stop...  
AC1: :33 :??  
CT2: （//･_･//) Would you perchance be inclined to come over to my stable tonight and place up your tack with me?  
CT2: (‘-’*) Only if you wish to, of horse.  
CT2: (╯_╰) I would completely understand if you have other matters to graze upon.  
AC1: :33 hush, you!  
AC1: :33 *the huntress purrs happily!*  
AC1: :33 i would very much like to come over! :))  
AC1: :33 just give me a few minutes to get everything sorted.  
CT2: （・□・；） I- yes, very good. I will clean up my stall and make things presentable.  
CT2: ヾ(oﾟｘﾟo)ﾉ I will see you in due time, my mare.  
AC1: :33 ♥  
CT2: (*°∀°) ♥  
chasmThoroughbred [CT2] has left memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  
  
AC1: :33 *the huntress stretches on her teapot.*  
AC1: :33 *she feels puuuurrrfectly happy and content!*  
  
arsenicCatnip [AC1] has closed memo HUNTRESS MATESPRIT HUNT SUCCESS!  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quirks. Quirks everywhere.
> 
> Ahahaha I love writing Nepeta's trollin' side. I bet she would make that comment just to see everyone's reactions.
> 
> Also, she didn't invite Gamzee to the memo 'cause she hasn't really forgiven him for murdering Equius. 
> 
> Rufioh was kinda having knee-jerk jealously problems (which Damara was getting angry at him for) since he did only break up with Horuss once he started the whole stepford smiler thing. Since he's kicked that habit...Well, Rufioh was just kinda upset, hence his dick comments. Though it was more "omg are u serious OH SH*T 1 WASNT SUPPOSE TO H1T SEND" and then it snowballed. And Horuss didn't like Rufioh bad mouthing Nepeta since he's still hurt about the breakup, hence him calling Rufioh a mutant (more maliciously than usual) Nepeta kinda invited him to the memo because she wanted to see if Rufioh would make a scene (Since she knows about the whole Damara/cheating incident) and wanted to make it very, _very_ clear she would not tolerate Rufioh trying any shit with her and Horuss or she would make him regret it.
> 
> Were my OTP's showing? :D
> 
> Troll handles go like this from Crimson to Fuchsia;
> 
> Kankri: CG - crustaceaGenealogy: 'cause you know, the cancer/crab thing and genealogy relates both to ancestors/descendents and since Kankri is a Seer (also his Alternian version who remembered Beforus) I figured it'd fit.  
> Damara: AA - akaAshita: aka means red (like her Time outfit and other clothing) and ashita means 'tomorrow' in Japanese 'cause she's a time player. Yay for badly translated Japanese lol  
> Rufioh: AT: apisTotemo: Apis is a bull deity in Egypt and totemo means very/extreme in Japanese 'cause of Rufioh's weeaboo/anime fan part of his personality.  
> Mituna: TA - topgunAphasia: top gun is a kind of skateboard trick and aphasia is a disturbance of the comprehension and formulation of language caused by dysfunction in specific brain regions, 'cause of 'Tuna's brain problems, poor guy.  
> Meulin: AC - agoutiCeridwen: Agouti is a wild coloured coat pattern for cats, while Ceridwen was a Welsh Goddess who was attended by white cats who carried out her will on Earth. :)  
> Porrim: GA - graylinAureola: Graylin is a specie of butterfly (like the Mother Grub, her lusus) while aureola is a glowing cloud surrounding a figure, due to her glowy rainbow drinker thing.  
> Latula: GC - grindCaballerial: grind, 'cause RAD RAD SKATER DURR and Caballerial is a skateboarding trick, a 360-degree turn performed on a ramp while riding fakie (backwards), named after skater Steve Caballero since Latula is a skater girl.  
> Aranea: AG - araneidaeGossamer: Araneidae are the family orb-weaver spiders are from and Aranea likes to weave some pretty impressive stories and gossamer for the light connotations and it is also fine spider silk.  
> Horuss: CT - chasmThoroughbred: Chasm is an abyss, a void, which ties into his aspect and thoroughbred is kinda self explanatory.  
> Kurloz: TC - temperedCapra: tempered because of his Prince abilities i.e destroyer of rage and Capra is a term for goat, like his lusus.  
> Cronus: CA - cronusAmpora. Oh come on, we all know he'd be that lame.  
> Meenah: CC - cephalopodConqueror: cephalopods are essentially giant squids, octopi and cuttlefish (like Gl'bgolyb) and Meenah is all down to be a conqueror. 
> 
> I'm just cramming all their troll handles in here in case I want to use any of them later on in different fics, otherwise I'll forget them.


End file.
